What Rick Steves didn’t need to be concerned with…

So whilst packing, I decided to be creative. In order to deter identity theft and well…wallet theft, I bring you Richard’s Safety Wallet®:

As you can see it has tons of handy things (I know it’s sideways, I’m still fiddling with technical issues), you’ve got everything you would need. While there’s no real money, I’ve replaced it with something just as good – Monopoly money! All foreign currencies (take note U.S. Federal Reserve) look like monopoly money anyway, so I figure that will suffice. I was overly generous in providing them with $221, that should hold them off if they land on Boardwalk 4 times.  Then, the all important Safeway card – I opted for this over a King Soopers card due to the greater presence of Safeway’s around the country. I’m saving would be thieves big bucks on food and petrol if they ever make it to the U.S. (Who knows? Maybe they’ll steal enough real wallets.)  Then I’ve included the important concert ticket stub – this little memento is less about giving to the thieves, and more about me finding new and innovative ways to recycle. Furthermore, if said thieves actually make it to the U.S. and Fort Collins no less, I’ve enclosed a free bus pass as well as an inactive security key card (but hey, they don’t know that). I’m subsidizing future trips for these fine upstanding individuals that they otherwise could not afford (Like New York Avenue in Monopoly! It’s the property right before Free Parking. Hell, I ‘m singlehandedly providing would be thieves with a crucial blow to potential monopolistic opponents!).

However, being the economist that I am, I enclosed the following note with the money:

“¡No lo gasten en un sólo lugar!”

Or for those not savvy with Spanish: “Don’t spend it all in one place!”

What the hell, I’ll throw in a Soopers Card too.