It took 8 hours and close to 10,000 words, but here it is: My vacation in a nutshell (albeit a very large one)

2009 26 October

My pictures from my trip are on my facebook. For those of you without facebook, here´s the link for your enjoyment:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2311038&id=19200016&l=b83dca2481

September 29th – October 6th

I’d love to say that some exciting stuff happened this week, but I can’t. I spent the entire week helping my kids prepare their presentation and improve their business plan for the business competition. Additionally, I did a final edit through of the new MINED curriculum for our class. Brie and Katie Earle (a business volunteer in my group) rewrote the curriculum (I rewrote the marketing section) since it will be an official course in every high school in the country next year. After getting feedback from the national MINED delegation, they have to go through and edit again. Unfortunately, when they do this, they change all the formatting. This ends up making the whole document look inconsistent and messy. I took on the job of formatting editor and I had to go through the actual guia (guide) for the teachers and then a class-by-class breakdown document as well.

Friday I went to León to help with final preparations for our business competition. I ran around following up on people who might donate money, buying things for the competition, and hanging out with the new volunteer in Telica (the town closest to León that we have a business volunteer in). I mixed in more visits with my kids with day trips to Johani’s farm. These trips were brief however due to the incredible amount of time my kids spent at my house working on their project (4 8-hour days in a row). It was 6 PM on Sunday (the day before the competition) before we finished. Unfortunately my kids walked away with a tie for 6th place, which was disappointing considering how solid their presentation and business plan were. That’s how it goes sometimes. We caught one of the afternoon busses home and rolled into Achuapa right before dinnertime.

That night I was running around like a mad man trying to prepare everything before I went to Guatemala. I ended up getting my clothes washed, but that was really the only thing I did. I was stressing out about everything (I had to bring my enormous backpacking backpack instead of my normal blue one and this bothered me) and pretty much didn’t do anything except make dinner. But really, whats more important than eating?

On the 6th, I finally packed my bag and got everything ready during the morning. I had to skip my morning workout session (I hate doing this) because I just didn’t have enough time if I wanted to get on the noon bus out of Achuapa. The bus ride passed by super quickly because I was completely into in the book I was reading (the 3rd Harry Potter book). Once in León, I checked into the hotel and kept reading (almost finished!) until Brie showed up a little later. We did our last errands, bought some food for the bus ride, ate dinner, and got to bed at a semi-reasonable hour (we had to be at the bus stop at 5 AM!).

October 7th – September 20th

The day I thought would never arrive finally did – vacation day. I was paranoid about missing the bus that I woke up every 2 hours to check my clock to make sure the alarm was going to go off. Once up, we threw all our stuff together and caught a cab to the bus stop. There were 4 other people waiting there, and the bus finally rolled around at 6 and we were off to El Salvador. Surprisingly, there were only around 10 people on the bus though. I expected all international busses to be completely packed. That’s how it always was in Europe and South America, so I had no reason to expect anything else here, but I had no complaints. It was definitely a cushy bus (I’d say it was second to only the bus I took from Córdoba to Mendoza in Argentina) and air conditioned to boot. The bus flew through Nicaragua and Honduras without stopping. When we got to the El Salvador border, things were a whole lot more hardcore than anything we’d encountered thus far. They checked the bags, 2 people got on the bus: one checking carry on’s, the other checking passports. There was a positive spin to this more thorough check – food vendors swarmed the bus. Now you may think that this is but a side note, but it is actually quite significant – El Salvador has pupusas, which is incredibly tasty. It’s a sort of corn tortilla stuff with cheese, but can also have meat and beans. Whether you’ve been drinking or not, it always hits the spots when you’ve got the munchies.

One thing that really surprised us about Honduras and particularly El Salvador was how hilly the countries are. In the northwestern half of Nicaragua it’s pretty flat and dry, but El Salvador and Honduras were more lush and hilly. I had initially pictured all the Central American countries as having a relatively similar geography, but that just isn’t the case. Furthermore, I thought the socio-economic status of the countries was relatively similar, but here too I was mistaken. Honduras and El Salvador are far more developed from a westerner’s point of view. It makes you think what it is that drives development (I have an idea but I can’t speculate on this since im a government employee) and why it is that Nicaragua isn’t on par economically with its neighbor’s up north.

We’d been told by a couple of people that there are 2 Ticabus stations in San Salvador, the first one is in a super nice embassy neighborhood, and the second (where the bus leaves from) is a super shady neighborhood in the city center. I asked the driver about this, and he gave me a really unclear answer. We’d been told that there was a hotel at the first stop, so I inquired further:

“I was told to get off at the first terminal because it’s a nice neighborhood”

“No, that stop is way out of the city.”

“But it’s in the city limits?”

“Barely.”

“Well, does the Guatemala bus stop at it in the morning?”

“No. It’s just a Ticabus office, not a terminal. The only terminal is San Carlos.”

Thoroughly confused and unsatisfied, I went back to my seat. A man I’d struck up a conversation (who lived in San Salvador) with back at the border told me that the first station was the one to get off at because the second one was in a super dangerous neighborhood (and the bus would pass by in the morning). With our minds made up, we decided to get off there. Once we arrived, we saw that there was a hotel right above the Ticabus office.

“What time does the bus pass by in the morning?”

“I don’t know, go ask inside.”

Thanks jackass. It was then that we discovered the potential reason for the bus driver outright lying about the presence of this other hotel in a nice neighborhood – the hotel wasn’t owned by Ticabus like the other one was. That’s shady business there. The hotel cost a meager 12 dollars per person, but didn’t come with TV or air conditioning. The strange thing about this price was that there in fact was a TV, but we weren’t given the remote because we didn’t pay to use the TV.

After dropping off our stuff and getting a quick shower, we asked the reception for the nearest super market (we had to see what El Salvador had that Nicaragua didn’t). The stroll to the super market brought us past an enormous pharmacy (like a Walgreens – a concept unheard of in Nicaragua), and a ton of restaurants. We weren’t too clear about where it was, so I asked a guy walking the opposite way. This man was friendly and knew exactly what he was talking about. If you ask somebody in Nicaragua, they’ll tell you it’s close, which could mean anywhere from a block to a mile away. They’ll always give you an answer, whether they know or not – they just want to help you. So it was nice to get solid directions – he even told me how many blocks to walk and how many meters from the corner the grocery store was. The store reminded me of the US – nuts and dried fruits could be bought in bulk; they had broccoli, coliflower, strawberries, but no bananas (go figure). They also had other amazing things we don’t have in Nicaragua – like A&W root beer, and even had German wheat beer (a nice change over the beer we have in Nicaragua). We spent a good hour in the store just browsing the shelves and seeing so many things we hadn’t seen in a while (for me, all the new things I hadn’t seen since being in the U.S. last May). Basically, it felt like walking into a Whole Foods (one section resembled it almost perfectly). The kicker was that we were paying in dollars. It was so weird using a currency I was so familiar with but unfamiliar with at the same time. Every place I bought something at gave me change in mostly dimes and nickels – quarters seem to be scarce as I only got a few. I was anticipating culture shock when I go back to the states in December, but I never would’ve guessed I’d have culture shock going to another Central American country. That night we grabbed dinner at the hotel (more pupusas and a beer I spilled all over the table) before turning in early (had to be ready for the 5 AM bus the next morning).

The next day was one that started early, and ended late. We were up at 4:30 so we had time to get ready and pack our stuff before the bus showed up. After checking in (In line I met a Mexican architect who built stuff for all the rich Nicaraguans in Miami after the fall of the Somoza regime in 1979 – he might have been lying. He also told me he had a great store in Guatemala – a store that is only open on Saturdays), we hopped on the bus for the “short” 5-hour trip into Guatemala City. The geography of Guatemala was much like that of El Salvador – incredibly hilly and green. We also saw something that seemed to indicate that it was a more developed country – a waterpark.

When we rolled into Guatemala City, we were astounded – the city was absolutely enormous (and could be seen from the point on the mountain we came in from). Furthermore, it had skyscrapers – not millions of feet tall U.S. skyscrapers, but it was still something that we don’t have in Nicaragua (the biggest building I’ve seen in the country is 7 stories tall – the 1970’s earthquake that destroyed all of Managua probably caused this phenomenon).

We got into the bus terminal around 11:30 and it was packed, although it’s only serviced by Ticabus. When in the station, I talked to a lady who got on the bus in Nicaragua – she had gotten off at the second station in El Salvador. Her experience can be summed up with one word – terrible. Apparently there were people coming in and out of the hotel until 3 AM, the neighborhood was super sketchy, and she had to wake up early for the bus because they had to come pick us up at our hotel. At least she got a story worthy experience.

Following our quick break in the station, we grabbed our stuff and went to go catch a taxi. The thing that really, well sucks, about going to another country like this is that the taxi’s don’t have meters (or most of them anyway). In Nicaragua we’re super wary of taxi’s due to the huge number of people that get kidnapped/robbed/assaulted on top of being hugely overcharged. To get an idea of how much it would cost to get to where we were going, I asked somebody at Ticabus how much a taxi would cost to this other bus stop. They told me it would be about 15 Quetzales (a little less than 2 bucks). I looked on the map and thought that was super cheap given the distance we’d be going, but I rolled with it. I asked a couple of cab drivers how much it would run – 10 to 12 bucks. I take being ripped off very poorly (even though it probably wasn’t 2 dollars, it was definitely less than 10), and I’m pretty sure I pissed them off (I have a pretty abrasive/harsh bargaining style), so I let Brie negotiate with the next driver. She got it for 8, so we hopped in and went to the other bus station.

At the other bus station we made a reservation on the next bus that was heading to Tikal – 2 hours later. It was around 40 round trip, which really isn’t that bad considering we were travelling 625 miles and 16 hours round trip. It was significantly cooler in Guatemala (the temperature was 75 or colder almost everyday we were there), so Brie set out to buy a heavier shirt to deal with the temperatures. A little later she came back with a used Gap shirt that she bought for 5 Quetzales, or about 63 cents. This was also an amazing discovery – clothes in Nicaragua are incredibly expensive for what they are. I’d probably pay around 10 dollars for a used shirt in my town.

The two hours passed pretty quickly, and before we knew it, the bus showed up (which unfortunately was a bus that more like a U.S. quality long distance bus). The ride in this more uncomfortable bus turned out to be super wearing. The air conditioning was incredibly cold (I just had a t-shirt on), and the bus driver was crazy. I thought Nicaraguan drivers were crazy, but I was clearly mistaken, because Guatemalan bus drivers definitely take the trophy for ballsiest drivers. We were in one of the first few rows, so I was able to see everything the bus almost hit – which was pretty much everything. When Nica drivers are flying down the road and want to pass, they’ll go around, but if there’s another car coming and they can’t make it, they’ll pull back into their lane. In Guatemala on the other hand, our bus driver was playing chicken with many smaller vehicles that we ended up forcing into the opposite shoulder so we didn’t plow into them.

The road to the town we were going to (about an hour from Tikal) was on par with the quality of any highway in the U.S. and we were flying the whole way there. The surprising thing was the amount of development on the side of the road. Tikal is up near the Mexican/Belize border, so I expected it to be pretty desolate, but the whole drive up there was like driving through the suburbs. It was rare when there weren’t buildings on the side of the road. Not only that, but there were streetlights the whole way there – we don’t have streetlights on the highways in Nicaragua.

Finally we rolled into Santa Elena around 10:30 and were beyond exhausted. On top of being exhausted, we had to negotiate with taxi drivers who wanted to rip us off. We didn’t really know where we were (the bus station location had changed from where it was on the map I had), and we asked how much a ride would cost – 5 dollars. Yea right. We got him down to 2 and hopped in for him to drive us a whole 3 blocks. We gave him a 5-dollar bill and asked for change. He looked at us as if we had just given him a Chinese newspaper, “What do I do with this?” Not in the mood to deal with him, I gave him 2 bucks and we checked into our hotel room.

The next morning we were well rested (we decided to sleep in a bit instead of leaving on a 5 AM shuttle for Tikal), and were due to leave for Tikal at around 9 on a shuttle. The shuttle showed up a little late and we then went up and picked up 4 other people before heading out of town around quarter to 10. We picked up some guy on the side of the road on the way there who apparently worked for the company that the shuttle owned. When we were rolling into Tikal, this new guy mentioned that it would be 150 Quetzales per person to go into the park or if we “wanted to save” and pay 100 Quetzales per person instead, we should talk to him. We asked why there was such a huge difference between the prices, and he said that you just don’t get the paper ticket. That sounded fine to us, so we went with it.

The shuttle parked and we soon discovered why it was 100 a piece – we were illegally entering the park. He immediately brought us into the forest and we walked along an aquaduct and threw thick vegetation until we popped out on a path.

“Where the hell are we going?”

“The Temple of the Inscriptions.”

We kept walking up the path as he narrated the Mayan history but all the while Brie and I just kept talking about what exactly was going on. When I told her what I’d read about this path we going to (in Lonely Planet it says that in the past people have been assaulted and raped on this path, but security had greatly improved), that was the end of that temple visit. We were both uncomfortable and unsure about what exactly the deal was, so we paid him and hightailed it to the main plaza.

Once in the plaza, we finally started enjoying ourselves – the ruins were amazing. The main plaza was the most uncovered out of all the ruins in Tikal and absolutely breathtaking. It consists of 2 temples that face eachother with two sorts of “neighbourhoods” on each side. Furthermore, it’s not just a couple pyramids but dozens of ruins over an incredible amount of land. I’d guess that it’s a couple square miles of land with various pyramids, altars, living residences, aquaducts, and various other random areas, like astronomical viewing areas. It’s really quite remarkable to see how advanced a civilization that lived thousands of years ago was. The highest temple that we climbed was 55 meters tall, and it’s amazing that they were constructed without modern construction equipment. The pyramids also coordinate to cardinal directions as well which is remarkable. Even though we pretty much went non-stop from Nicaragua all the way up to Tikal to spend around 6 hours there, it was definitely worth it. Along with Iguazu in Argentina, Tikal is the most amazing thing I’ve seen in my travels thus far. To make the whole experience that much more special – we had perfect blue sky with big fluffy clouds. We’d been a tad concerned about going to Guatemala in the heart of the rainy season, but thus far it wasn’t affecting us at all (the whole region is in a drought – unfortunate for farmers, fortunate for travelling).

We were so drawn into the ruins and their awesomeness that we didn’t each anything until we got out of the park. Initially we were just going to hop on the shuttle and go back to Santa Elena and eat there. We asked the shuttle driver when he was leaving, and he said that if we were the only ones leaving, he was going to wait until the next hour (the shuttles leave on the hour with the last ones leaving at 4, 5 and 6. Since he said we wouldn’t be leaving, we headed over to a restaurant and get some food. Right after ordering, the shuttle driver came over and said that more people came and that he’d be leaving and there wouldn’t be another shuttle. Upset at the lack of responsibility this company appeared to exercise (breaking us into the park now this?) we demanded he find out. He called his bosses and they said they would send another bus afterwards. That was enough to calm our nerves so we were able to eat happily. We downed this much needed food and saw upon exiting that the driver hadn’t even left – he’d waited for us with the other people that had showed up earlier. Have no fear, he did fail us again: when we got back to the town we were staying in, instead of dropping us off at the hotel (they picked us up at the hotel), he just dropped us off in front of their office and told us our hotel was down the street. “Thanks buddy.” All in all, they get an F for service. Had Tikal not been everything we’d hoped for plus more, I’d have taken this very poorly. They’re lucky they have such an amazing ruins to soothe the nerves of their customers after they provide their crummy service.

Once back at the hotel, we had a handful of hours to wait until we had to catch our bus back to Guatemala City. During this time, I ran around like a madman in search of a pay phone (to confirm our reservation in another hotel) and an ATM that would work for me. After finding one and getting back to the hotel where Brie had been waiting, we decided to catch the bus that left an hour earlier so as not to wait longer in the hotel. When we arrived at the terminal, the bus was getting ready to go, but we were able to switch our tickets for the last seats available on the bus. With regards to quality, the bus was up there with those of Ticabus, and we got the front row seats on the top of the bus (it was a two level bus). The improved comfort meant that we were able to catch some needed zzz’s on the way back to Guatemala City.

The bus ride back to the capital city flew by and we were pretty well rested when we rolled in. Our negotiating skills had improved and we got a cab ride to the next bus terminal for 6 dollars. However, we felt kind of badly because this ride was definitely the same distance or longer than the trip from the Ticabus station a few days ago. At the station (the side of the road), we were told that the bus (which I’m guessing was a big impressive bus) had already left but we could take a big bus to San Marcos. We were going to San Marcos La Laguna, but I assumed this was the same place (you can probably see where this is going). The cobrador on the bus told us it’d take about 5 hours, and according to the PC Guatemala volunteer who lived there, that sounded more or less about what it should’ve been. It was a schoolbus like we were used to in Nicaragua, but this one was a lot more “upgraded”. They’d installed a TV and VCR, and the interior didn’t show the wear and tear that our busses show in Nicaragua.

The bus driver was as equally crazy as the driver who had driven us to Tikal the other day and would take the turns going so fast that he would lean into them. Understandably, everytime we would make a turn, Brie and I would fly into eachother. A couple of hours into the ride, we hit a traffic jam of some sort. Our bus driver was having none of this (either busses in Guatemala are on a schedule or he’s just really impatient), and he pulled a U-turn in the middle of the highway. In the process of this U-turn, we crashed into the truck in front of us, and hit the roof of a shop on the side of the road, but we got out! The bus then headed down what seemed to be a highway that was under construction. There were other cars on this path, so it seemed that we were heading in the right direction. After getting off the highway, we pulled onto a super small dirt road (it’s width was just a little wider than the bus) that wound through a cornfield and next to a solid dirt wall. After navigating the inaugural journey down this newfound “highway”, which also took us through the middle of a soccer field, we got back on the main road.

Our first main stop was in Quetzalguaque or “Xela” (pronounced shela) as it is called (I’d probably give it a nickname too, some Guatemalan cities have brutal names). It was complete chaos and I it was here that Guatemala loses out to the bus stations we have in Nicaragua. It didn’t appear that there was any sort of structure – it was like being stuck in traffic with 50 different busses.

We departed after around 30 minutes in the “terminal,” and went straight into the mountains. This yielded more high-speed turns for the next few hours. Before long, we saw signs for San Marcos, San Pedro, as well as other towns whose names I recognised from the guidebook. However, each time we passed through one, there was one notable characteristic that was missing – Lago Atitlán. I kept thinking, “It’s impossible that we’re passing through all these towns whose names I recognise from the lake region and have their be no lake.” We rolled into San Pedro, which has the reputation of being a party town, and I was struck by the size of it – it would rival Nicaraguan cities in terms of size. I guessed that would coincide with a party town, but I was still wondering where the lake was. We then saw a sign for “San Marcos Touristic Area” – this I thought would surely mark the start of the lake. And I was wrong. We were in San Marcos all right, and all the names I recognised were definitely names from the guidebook, but they were also cities that had the exact same names in practically the same order as the small towns that are on Lago Atitlán. Who thought to do that?

Realising that we were in the wrong San Marcos, that we’d been on a bus for 14 consecutive hours, that we were 4 hours away from our actual destination, and that we’d have to spend the night in this San Marcos, that we’d crisscrossed the country and were about an hour from the Mexican border (again), was all too much for me. I had as much of a meltdown as I’ve ever had and I just closed up – that was the end of social interaction from me for the next 30 minutes. Afterwards, it was funny, but in the moment it was too shocking for me to comprehend.

We walked to the closest hotel we could find where we caught the staff equally off guard. It was as if we were the first non-Guatemalans they’d seen in their entire lives. After my meltdown, I went to the cyber to find out exactly where the hell we were (at that point, we had no idea), and to buy some lunch since we were absolutely starving. I checked online at a cyber to find out exactly where it was we were and I paid with 10 Quetzales. Seeing this bill triggered the following response from the boy that was working. “Do you have anything smaller?” For those of you not paying attention before, the conversion rate is 8 Quetzales to a dollar. So I was paying him $1.25 for 50 cents of Internet time. I did not have anything smaller, so he gave me my change, for the most part in 10-centavo coins – which is a little more than a penny (1.25 cents for those of you that are interested). I later found out that day that there is a 5-centavo coin as well.

Having acquired all this new change, I tried to call our hotel that we were supposed to arrive at, but nobody picked up. Then I set out looking for food. The terminal, which reminded me of a plaza in Denver (16th and Market), had no food, so I wandered down the street until I found a vendor selling chicken. The guy making the chicken told me to wait a few minutes until it was done, so while I did, I tried chatting up the people that were next to me. Immediately it became clear that they did not understand me – because they didn’t speak Spanish. I hadn’t realised there were so many native Guatemalans (I read some figure that said 30% in San Marcos are indigenous Guatemalans), but this yielded quite the awkward moment, as if being the only white guy in the whole town wasn’t awkward enough.

Food in hand, I went back to the hotel where the soccer team that was occupying all the other rooms in the hotel were having their last meal before leaving. Brie was passed out in the room and following me knocking for so long I thought that she had left, she opened the door and we ate the much needed, and surprisingly tasty food. It seems Guatemalans enjoy spicy food! Afterwards, Brie headed off to procure us some warmer clothes since we were freezing (it was definitely in the 50s that night). Thirty minutes and less than 7 dollars later, we donned some sweatshirts that made taking a nap…possible. Post-nap, we headed out to grab some dinner (travelling is tough on your body), and found a tiny comedor where we got a great dinner (and black beans – something super uncommon in Nicaragua). No longer dreading (but not exactly delighting in) this detour we made, we headed back to the hotel and went to sleep early.

Come morning, we were ready to get to the lakeside vacation we’d planned on. This time around the cobrador lied to us about a smaller microbus leaving at that hour, but there was nothing we could’ve done with it – at least we were leaving. The ride back to Xela was as jarring as our past experiences had been, and we spent the majority of the ride listening to the native Mayan language that some kids were speaking. It’s a language that’s full of harsh short sounds and we couldn’t understand anything. With most languages I’ve felt I’ve been able to distinguish some words, or at least I’d be able to write down what it sounds like, but with this language it was impossible. It’d definitely be an interesting language to learn.

Once in Xela, we got off only to find that where we wanted to go was where the bus was going (I’ve been told that before). Luckily, there was a guy on the bus who was going to the same place, so we were able to get off when he did, but that’s not to say I wasn’t worried – I probably looked over at him every 15 seconds for 45 minutes to make sure, as Brie said, that he didn’t jump out the window at the stop. Fortunately, he made no mad dash out the window, and we got off at our stop, Los Encuentros, with no problem.

The bus going to Panajachel (or Pana as the call it there) was much more like a Nicaraguan bus – packed. Though we were still able to get a seat, it was a lot more familiar. One new thing we noticed on the busses this morning was how when there were not enough seats, people would sit inbetween the seats. The seat cushions were close enough that somebody could plant a cheek on each side and sit without falling. Sometimes this option was chosen over going to a seat in the rear of the bus.

Following a short ride down the mountain, we ended up in Sololá, which was host to a beautiful church and a big park. We were under the notion that this was Panajachel, but that was quickly proved wrong when a cobrador on the other side of the park started yelling “Panajachel!” We hopped in, huge backpacks and all, and Brie smashed her head on the doorway of the bus for a souveneir that she’ll never forget. The ride to Pana was even shorter than the one to Sololá, and not knowing we had arrived, got off a stop later. Fortunately, it was just a short stroll down the road to get to Pana, but being one who asks things a million times just for confirmation, I asked a police officer how to get to the docks (we had to take a boat to San Marcos La Laguna). His directions consisted of telling me that I should keep walking until I reach the police officer that is wearing the same reflective vest that he’s wearing. I suppose that’s a pretty useful way to go about giving directions – send people in the right direction towards somebody who is closer and will have a clearer idea. From police officer number 2, we made our way to the docks with the unsolicited help of some guy who may or may not have been working for the boats that took us to San Marcos.

The boats are exactly like busses, but in boat form, which was a more “vacation way” to deal with transportation. We stopped in a few villages before arriving in San Marcos La Laguna (travelling by boat confirmed the fact that we were indeed at the correct San Marcos). After jumping out on the dock, Raúl, a boy of fourteen (I’d have guessed he was 10 or younger), walked us to our hotel (once again without asking for the help). Yet we were so overjoyed to be where we were supposed to be that Raúl earned himself a few Quetzales for his help.

Our “hotel” was really nothing like what you’d think of a hotel. All the buildings were separate and had thatch roofs on them. To reach any building you took a short, narrow path that had an abundance of plants that seemed to envelop the paths completely. Moreso, there were only 6 rooms in the hotel which really takes away the hotel feel to it. It felt a lot more like a small community – particularly after we were brought to our room (there were no formalities to checking in, I just said I had a reservation, “Ah! Richard!” and apparently that was the password). Our “room” was less of a room and more of a house. We first passed through a bamboo door that, it turned out, was the door to our entryway. The path leading to the door winded around the side of the bungalow, which was all windows (the natural light was great), to a door that too was a couple of windows. After showing us our room, the staff (a handful of local Mayans) member left. “I thought it had a bathroom.” Brie mentioned. It was then that I saw another door in our “compound” sort of hotel room – a door to the bathroom. The roof of the bathroom was a sort of semi-transparent sheet of plastic that let in generous amounts of life, as if that was needed. The toilet had a door closing to it, the sink was completely exposed, and 2 small rooms – a towel room, and the shower – were next to the sink. What made it even cooler were the vines and plants that came down into the shower – it was just like how you’d picture a “tropical paradise” shower!

After we were able to close our jaws and had unpacked, we grabbed some breakfast in their restaurant (a vegetarian restaurant). Here too we were amazed with the hotel we were in (something like a dream it seemed) – the food was incredible too. Following our meal, we wandered through the numerous footpaths that surrounded the lakeside part of San Marcos. On this stroll, one thing became abundantly clear – this place was full of hippies. Being an absolutely beautiful place, this has attracted people that have money to build a house on the lake, and huge quantities of holistic/spiritual/natural healing places. I counted no less than 7 places that offered everything from acupuncture and massages to crystal healing and a lunar meditation course. What stands out about this is that the town is the size of mine – about 3,000 – and yet it has an amazingly huge tourist industry. What’s even more shocking is that it’s a Peace Corps site. I would probably go nuts if I were placed in a site where so many white people, hippies specifically, were roaming and destroying the natural charm/feeling of the town. Props to her for being able to manage it.

We wandered around a bit more, we returned to our room and chilled out for the majority of the day before enjoying our first dinner that night (and did we enjoy it!). This dinner was strange in two ways: first, vegetarian shepherds pie was by far the last thing I expected to be eating on a trip to Guatemala. Second, even though she’s Irish, Brie had never in her life tried shepherds pie. What stood out about meals in the restaurant was the sheer amount of food that we were given, a stark contrast to how meals generally are in Nicaragua restaurants. The last time I’d eaten so much food in one sitting was last Thanksgiving. This is how all the meals in the hotel were to go – amazing and amazingly filling.

That first day we only ventured along the main (and only) road in town, just checking around to see what it is that the town offered. We found the hotel where we would have stayed, the local pulperias, the hippy-dippy places, and a restaurant owned by a former Guatemala Peace Corps volunteer’s husband. He chatted us up a bit, about Obama winning the Nobel Peace Prize (which we were completely oblivious to), Peace Corps, and a handful of other subjects. We had a satisfying lunch there and bought some locally made chocolate that is made in one of the towns on the lake. Surprisingly the food left us really full (every meal ended with this feeling), so for dinner we ventured up to the main road and got some Guatemalan street food. Their principal street food is essentially a nacatamale (a cornlike pie with meat in it) but they spice theirs up with their spicy artificial hot sauce – which just makes the meal that much tastier.

The next day, following another meal that overwhelmed our senses (a fruit salad with yoghurt, honey, and homemade granola), we decided to go kayaking. We’d initially planned to rent the kayaks from a particular guy we’d talk to the previous day, but he was nowhere to be found. Being the tourist destination it is, we found another one that was run by local mayans, which incidentally is the only local owned and run tourist catered business in town.

Simply getting the kayaks was a journey – we crossed the whole town, a soccer field and various docks before the kayaks were pulled out from the side of a house. We rented a two-person kayak, which was fortunate (for me anyhow) because the water was kind of choppy, and just got worse as time progressed. Being the first time I’d ever kayaked, I thoroughly enjoyed it. We had initially planned on being out for 3 hours, but due to the rough waters and a storm that was blowing over one of the volcanoes, a sandy beach we’d been aiming for had to be put off for another day. Getting back took a whole lot more effort than it took getting there, but after realising that the kayak would indeed float, I was less apprehensive and ignored the fact that I didn’t have a life preserver and can’t swim. As we got closer to the shore, the problem that we thought we’d encounter indeed was one – we had no idea where’d we’d left from, “Was it that hill right there?” For some reason, the guy we’d rented from was at the shore and waving for us to come in (even though we told him we wouldn’t be back for another hour and a half). We dropped off the kayak and back at his little tourist hut, we talked to him about the climate, the plants, and life in San Marcos. Following the informational session, he sent us off with a fresh jocote (a fruit, that while sweet, leaves a sort of film on your teeth that dissuades me enough to not eat them in Nicaragua). Later that night, we enjoyed a Mayan Sauna, which I initially thought was an oven and after learning it indeed was a sauna, was reluctant to get in. Despite thinking I would be baked, it was a new positive experience. Unfortunately for us though, this would be the only time we would enjoy it (it’s a small space, and it would be quite awkward being confined to it with other people). For dinner, we bought some whole wheat bread (the perk of having hippies around, “All natural man!”), an avocado, and some honey. That was a perfect and completely satisfying meal.

We started the next morning once again with an amazing meal in the hotel. Since we’d been kayaking the day before, this day would be our first “relaxing day” of our vacation thus far. I put a sizeable dent in a new book I’d been dying to read for so long, Oracle Bones by Peter Hessler. This day encompassed what I’d always hoped out of a vacation. Since we didn’t have anything big planned, we ventured over to the hotel we would have stayed at to have a drink. Can you have a vacation without alcohol? Their restaurant/bar offered an amazing view of the lake, but the prices for…well, everything made me glad that we stayed where we were. It was the first time I’d had a White Russian (I’d tried one before that was amazing), but this time around it didn’t suit me. Some people like really boozy drinks, and it was, but not enjoying drinking it’s just not my style. After a drink there, we headed to the hotel next door to ours to get some Mexican food. We split a plate of tasty food here, but got even worse drinks than we did before – these didn’t even have alcohol in them. My mojito looked like a health drink because the mint was blended in it. This left me 0 for 2 on drinks. Dinner filled us up too much, so we once again opted for some tasty whole wheat bread along with a sort of banana nut bread that was made in a shop down the path from our hotel.

Thursday we got up early and ate before going kayaking again, but this time we rented from the guy who we’d planned to rent from the first time around. For kayaking, the day couldn’t have been better. The weather was beautiful and the water was wave-free. The kayaks left a little more to be desired though and we weren’t able to clip along at quite the same rate as we were in the other kayaks. To top that off I couldn’t kayak in a straight line, just to the right. In spite of this unconscious drive to always go right, we made it to the unreached beach from our first kayaking experience to find that it was a tiny strip of beach, and not the perfect white sand beach mirage that I saw from way out on the lake. Having reached our goal, we turned around and got back to San Marcos on Goggins time (with loads of time to spare). Once back, we chatted with the kayak guy who it appeared spoke Spanish as a second language (he had a phrase that he dropped constantly, like a person from Massachusetts would always say “wicked”).

Post-kayaking, we headed off to the main event of our day – a massage. We figured that if we were there, we might as well take advantage of what those hippies have to offer. I got a sports massage that was a mixture of Swedish, Shiat-su, deep tissue massage, and stretching. After never having had a massage before, I was super satisfied with how it went. However, I had always imagined that a massage would make me feel like I was walking on air (like yoga does), but it’s a different kind of good. That night, though we weren’t hungry, we tried to down one of the massive dinners that the hotel restaurant had, and we failed. Not just that, but we were so full we weren’t able to take advantage of the sauna which we were told was available. So instead, we chose the only viable option – sleep.

Friday, our last day in San Marcos, was not even spent there. We took the boat to Panajachel to look at the artesan goods that were sold along the streets – apparently this was the best place in the country to get them (like Masaya in Nicaragua). Additionally, we’d read that there was some sort of American market with “all the things you miss from home!” This claim was too good to turn down, so we headed on over. Getting there resembled the first day we were stumbling to the boats – we got directions from a policeman. The officer we talked to gave us the same directions, “Walk down the street until you see the guy who is dressed like me, he can tell you.” Like last time, the second guy knew exactly where we were talking about and told us where it was.

In the market, we were kind of disappointed because it wasn’t as big as they claimed (it was called the Pana Super – super means big here). Just when we’d lost hope on finding something we’d really wanted (dark chocolate), there it was at the entrance – Lindt Dark Chocolate…and truffles! Sweets in hand, we made it 3 feet outside of the store before eating our truffles…that we needed…for…energy. Yes. Energy. Newly energized, we went looking through the ventas negotiating. Really though, it was more Brie looking at the ventas and me going into every travel agency doing price comparison on shuttles going to Antigua the next day. For lunch we grabbed a pizza with some enormous milkshakes (a berry one – impossible to get in Nicaragua), thereby satisfying the strange craving I had the entire week for a pizza. We caught a boat back to San Marcos later in the afternoon and enjoyed our last dinner in the restaurant of our hotel (which we were smart enough to share this time around) before reading and heading to bed.

That morning, we woke up early to grab breakfast one last time. The fruit salad and French toast tasted that much more amazing, and I enjoyed it that much more knowing I wouldn’t eat such rich food for a while. We paid our bill, packed our bags and were out of the hotel and at the dock by 10 AM. From there we took our last boat ride across the lake and arrived in Panajachel with enough time for me to mail off a couple postcards.

Our shuttle for Antigua showed up a little late but after getting outside the city limits, there was some sort of mixup that resulted in us waiting at the side of the highway for a bigger shuttle to come get us (even though there were only 4 of us). As chance would have it, the placed where we stopped was a beautiful overlook of Panajachel and Lago Atitlán, so I grabbed one last memory.

The shuttle that eventually showed up was an enormous Mercedes 20-passenger vehicle…for just the 4 of us. Anyway, a couple hours later we arrived in Antigua at our hotel, which on the interior resembled an old 1900’s hotel with its incredibly intricate woodwork. The strange thing was that this hotel – much like every other place we’ve stayed in Guatemala – did not ask for our passports, names, or anything. They just gave us a room.

After leaving our stuff in the room, we took a walk through Antigua to discover the charms it offered (they say that it is how Granada is supposed to be). The town used to be the capital of Guatemala for some 230ish years – and because of this, I had high hopes. However, after strolling around for a few hours, I definitely got an idea of where all these good comments came from, but I find Granada to be a whole lot impressive (and I can’t stand Granada). I don’t know who brought the initial praise upon Antigua, but I expected a lot more for all the hype.

Before dinner, we headed back to our hotel to get cleaned up (along with taking the hottest shower I’d had in 2 years). Antigua’s other claim to fame is the food, so we were definitely going to take advantage of it – it is a vacation after all. The game plan was also to go a club, but this was the less desireable activity for the night (for me anyway). Initially, after our first walk through town, we’d decided to grab some fondue or go to the Irish pub for fish and chips – but both of them lost out to the jiving atmosphere that a Mexican restaurant had. Since it was the last real night of our vacation (the next night would be in Guatemala City, a place we were spending the night since we had to get to the bus terminal early), we just ordered anything we felt like, which was close to everything. The restaurant had a great atmosphere, amazing food, and the drinks finally fit the bill. Following this meal, we just weren’t feeling the club (I never was, but I talked Brie out of it), so we went home where I slept and Brie was kept awake the whole night by drunken morons running around the hotel (everybody should bring ear plugs).

My other high point in Antigua came the next morning at breakfast. We went to a bagel breakfast place that offered a 20% discount for Peace Corps volunteers – AWESOME. Antigua, you redeemed yourself with that one. Post-breakfast, we vacated our room, reserved a shuttle for Guatemala City, and Brie got a pedicure. We decided to eat at the Irish pub for lunch before we left (those fish and chips were calling our names). The pub was mostly empty, and fish and chips were only served on Fridays and Saturdays (why?). Also unfortunate was the steep price for a Guinness ($7.50), so I settled for a local beer. After a bowl of Irish stew, we killed a few hours before catching our shuttle to Guatemala City.

Our hotel in the city was near the airport (made a mile away), but it was in a gated community, which calmed our nerves (the main zone looked sketchy, and the city has some not so good neighbourhoods). The staff was SUPER nice and helpful and told us a good place to eat and get money would be the enormous Oakland Mall. They called us a taxi (a metered one at that!), whose driver was super friendly and gave us his card after dropping us off at the mall.

Now the mall – that was impressive. The difference between malls in the U.S. and malls in Central America (it seems) is that in the U.S. they’re for the middle class, whereas here they are for the upper class. Due to this, this Oakland mall was by far the biggest mall I’d ever been to in my life (I haven’t been to Mall of America). I had some serious culture shock just walking into it. After browsing for a while, we grabbed some crepes and called our taxi driver to come pick us up. Back at the hotel, we let the staff know we’d be waking up super early (it was a guesthouse, so the “staff” actually lived there). After getting cleaned up, we turned in for the night.

The next day (at the god awful hour of 4:30) we woke up to find that the owner of the guesthouse, a tiny cheery old man, had poured us some orange juice and left some crackers on a table in the common area. He was super cheerful, which either meant that he was a machine with endless energy, or he was just naturally chipper. Either way, it was a nice was to wake up with such a positive vibe. He and another staff member (his son?) then drove us to the bus terminal.

The bus ride out of Guatemala came and went without much hoopla, and we arrived at our hotel in San Salvador at around 10:30 – plenty of time to explore the city. We too had heard about the incredible malls that San Salvador had, so we decided to check that one out as well. The hotel staff informed us that we could walk down to a particular highway and catch a bus to a gigantic mall. What they didn’t tell us was that the busses (we were looking for 101 or 42) had variations of the numbers. So while I was looking for 101, I saw 101 A, B, C and D. Which one were we to catch? This confusion, and supposed proximity to the mall led to us walking there. We were a tad disenchanted with the walk (not close), but when we got there we saw that it was an outdoor mall with a similar setup to an outlet mall.

We grabbed a meal at Bennigans (restaurants like this are popular and “higher class” than they are in the U.S.), some gelato in the mall, and then went and saw the Time Traveler’s Wife (left a lot to be desired) in a gigantic theatre that had 6 people in it (including us). Following our movie, we wanted to go back to the amazing grocery store we’d gone to when we’d first passed through San Salvador, but we’d need to catch a cab – but there were none to be found. We found another police officer (they’ve tended to be good sources of information) and he called us a cab. During this whole process though, there was a man and his wife walking through the parking lot. Upon seeing us, he came over and asked where we were going. “To the supermarket by the Brazilian Embassy.” He then offered to drive us there, but since the taxi had arrived, we decided to respectfully decline. The taxi driver wasn’t too sure of where we were going though, and this mysteriously helpful man told him that the supermarket was near the Peace Corps office. Brie and I both looked at eachother, more attentive now than ever, was it possible that this guy worked for Peace Corps? It’s rare to find somebody who knows about Peace Corps, so this was just an interesting occurrence, but we’ll never know. At the supermarket, we grabbed what we so desired (for me 2 liters of German beer, an A&W rootbeer and a bottle of Plax), and headed back to our hotel room for the night.

The next day flew by and we rolled into Nicaragua 2 hours earlier than we thought we would (despite being held up at the Nicaraguan border for an hour). I was missing the feeling of being familiar with my surroundings, but this was quickly negated when the taxi driver ripped me off. During this, Brie went and grabbed some food for dinner while I waited with all our stuff at the bus terminal. Once back, we hopped on a micro and went to Malpaisillo – thus ending my vacation.

And what a vacation it was!

Before my vacation I was reading like crazy too, I read Oracle Bones while on the vacation. Without further ado:

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone – A. The first Harry Potter book did to me exactly what it has done to so many millions of people out there – it hooked me. However, the end fight scene was really lame. If the rest of the book wasn’t great, I’d complain.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets – A. Once again, a book I just couldn’t put down. Again disappointed with the final battle.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban – A. I’ve got 20 pages left, but essentially I’ve finished it. The book really drew me in and just made me want to drink butter beer, a real beer, or just something tasty that would equally overwhelm my taste buds.

Oracle Bones – A+. This book is now my favourite book of all time. Peter Hessler, the author of River Town, has such a great writing style that I just never wanted the book to end. Usually when you’re reading any book, you want to find out what happens in the end, but this book is nonfiction and ends when he reaches the end of time (present day). He provides a great look into Chinese people and the culture. I will definitely be reading any book Hessler writes, I don’t care if he writes a dictionary – I’ll read it


I´m dying and surviving

2009 21 July

June 12th – June 13th

I was still regaining my mobility these days and therefore took it easy yet again.

June 14th

With my foot ready for action, I cleaned up my house for my trainee visit. The trainee visit, which takes place for every training group (I visited my buddy Luis in Chinandega for my visit), would be Sunday through Wednesday. The 2 other business volunteers (which coincidentally are both from Colorado) in León and I decided to take the trainees to the beach. Unfortunately, with my foot still in pain, I would be unable to make the trip. So instead, I just hung out in my house the whole day resting.

As if a sign by God that if I couldn’t go to the beach nobody would (even though I can’t swim), the weather in the city of León was bad, so the trainees didn’t go to the beach. The trainee that was going to visit me, Richard (yet another coincidence, 623 and from Santa Fe), decided to catch the noon bus to come up to Achuapa. When he showed up several hours later, we chatted it up on my porch for a good while.

Following a long and “positive energy” conversation, we headed over to my buddy’s house for dinner. I explained to Richard that upon coming to site, my cooking skills were very slim and I ate pretty poorly once I moved out of my host family’s house. Eating with my buddy and his family was literally my lifeline for a while. Without his family and my friend Johani, God knows how I’d be doing now – or if I’d even be here. However, in the recent months I’ve been learning how to cook more and more, increasing my independence, and ultimately my happiness with things in general. I could tell that Richard was really taking in all this “wisdom” (if that’s what you’d call it) that I’d been imparting on him, and that he was really looking forward to his service, after just a couple hours of seeing how distinct it is from training.

After dinner, we spent a good amount of time simply chatting with my friend and his wife. My friend and his wife were thoroughly impressed with Richard, particularly considering my (our) negative experiences with the couchsurfer who came to my house. Once back at my house, the conversation continued for a bit before heading to bed.

June 15th

Since I had no classes the days that Richard would be visiting me, I arranged to teach an English class with Johani to my 4th year students in my “big” public school.  After observing my class, and how I run the class with my kids, he seemed pretty taken aback at the amount of energy I had to put into the class to get positive results out of the kids – I guess the positive part of being a total livewire is that most of the time, I don’t even realise that I’m putting in a lot of energy.

I kept the schedule full by then dragging Richard over to my buddy Santo’s house. Right now I’m in the process of helping Santo through the steps required to open a cyber (and be able to compete successfully with the 2 other cybers in the community). I showed Richard everything we’d done so far (basic accounting practices and market study), and reviewed some parts of Santo’s business plan. By the time all was said and done, we were exhausted and headed back home for lunch.

Post amazing lunch (Richard is some sort of vegetarian chef genius), I brought Richard over to the cooperativa that Achuapa has to show him organic sesame seed oil that they process and sell to The Body Shop. Since I know everybody at the cooperativa, getting Richard a tour was a matter of walking in and saying I’d like him to see the process. He was super impressed with it, and particularly the fact that it is done in such a small town.

Following the tour, I took Richard on a lap around my town, showing him the enormous pulperias we have (Achuapa is a total anomaly on so many levels), and introducing him to the majority of my friends and contacts, which lasted the whole afternoon. Upon returning home, we were both exhausted and just chilled out for a bit. Unfortunately, a bit resulted in being just that as a handful of my students from my private school showed up for clarification on a class they didn’t understand (I offered 25% more on the exams of the people that failed if they stopped by my class and could demonstrate they understand the concept). What I anticipated to be around an hour turned into a 3 hour long tutoring session, which just exhausted me even more. To close out the day, Richard and his cooking expertise took over my stove and whipped up an amazing dinner, further convincing me that when I get back to the states I’ll be going vegetarian.

June 16th

With the endless engagements finally over with, Richard and I were able to take it easy this morning. We lounged around a bit and headed to the cyber to get caught up on the happenings in the world where things actually do happen. Later on, I talked to him a bit more about the sorts of secondary projects I do in my site. For the most part, we spent the majority of the day relaxing and I introduced him to various contacts I have in the community.

June 17th – July 21st

Over the last month I’ve been super busy with Peace Corps functions, being sick, and teaching the last classes of my business class that my students need to participate in the local competition in Achuapa.

After Richard’s site visit, I taught the rest of my classes for the week and headed to Managua that Friday to prepare for the site fair for the new business group. I was to present the potential sites from the department of León, and Luis was to present those from Chinandega. However, Luis didn´t want to do the presentation for Chinandega, and coincidentally, the person who ended up replacing Luis for the presentation was Brie. That works out.

The meeting itself lasted around 30 minutes and wasn’t a great use of time, but there was really no other way about it. We had to work with other people from other departments on presentations and it just saved money that would’ve been spent on cell phone money. The rest of the weekend I spent in Achuapa before heading to Malpaisillo on Monday to make my trip to León the following day a little bit shorter. Monday in Malpaisillo was fine, and I spent the majority of the time at Brie´s house screwing around since she was doing work in Managua.

The following day we had our safety and security meeting in León. The meeting, which happens every year, was the exact same presentation as before but with the national police saying that crime in every single municipality in León has dropped. What they didn´t mention was that their definition for what gets recorded as a crime has changed as well. While it still gets prosecuted as a crime, it needs to carry a certain monetary value (around $500) to warrant being recorded as a crime.

While all this was nice and interesting, since the morning, I had a wicked headache that turned into a super high fever, bone pain, and having all my muscles virtually lock up. It was a weird sensation, but I figured it was just because I slept poorly (since my exact symptoms had happened in the past after sleeping in a weird position). I really couldn´t pay attention during the presentation, so I just put my head down on the table and tried to relax for a couple of hours. Unfortunately, my fever and body pain didn´t subside by the time I headed back to Achuapa that day.

Upon arriving back in Achuapa, there were no lights in Achuapa. After a quick planning session (when the lights finally came back on), I went straight to bed since I felt absolutely horrible. The following day I had the plan to volunteer as a translator to a southern Baptist medical brigade that was in Achuapa. I´d already volunteered on Monday, and wanted to help them in whatever way I could (since they had no doctors who could speak Spanish). Unfortunately, upon waking up I discovered that I felt roughly the same, if not worse as I did on Tuesday. So I was rendered virtually incapacitated the whole day with severe body pain and a super super high fever. I figured I´d be good to go by the time Thursday rolled around (a day in which I was to take my final trip to Chinandega to visit Luis). Due to my mystery sickness (I was under the notion I had malaria or dengue), I was unable to teach on Wednesday, but taught Thursday although I felt pretty poorly. I wasn´t about to let a sickness stop me from going to Chinandega to see Luis, so I caught the last bus out of Achuapa for a hopeful party weekend with Luis.

Despite ignoring my sickness, I got to Chinandega and continued to feel like total crap. Luis came up with the brilliant suggestion to drink, so I had a beer. Of course, drinking just made me feel worse, so one drink was all the partying I did that weekend. We went out and got steaks (that’s good for fevers right?), and then headed back to Luis´ house to do my site fair presentation (which would the following day, Friday).

Like the previous 3 nights, I had incredible chills (even though it was 2 million degrees in Chinandega) and drifted in and out of consciousness from 11 PM until I finally ¨woke up¨ at 7 that morning. Luis and I grabbed a licuado (another bad idea), and I went to the bank to set up and online account, and bought some picos (a León baked good specialty) before catching a micro down to Managua. The plan was to go to León for just Friday, do the site fair Saturday, then go back to Chinandega for more partying – but something just wasn´t right. I scheduled a medical appointment for when I got into Managua and was immediately sent to the lab to do a million lab tests. The tests showed a ton of things that were irregular, including blood and proteins in my urine – perfect. Instead of going to a movie, like I planned on, I instead took the awesome and exciting trip to the hospital.

At the hospital we met up with the same surgeon I met a year ago when I was hospitalised in August. My blood pressure was super low and I had a super high pulse (around a hundred or so), and I had a bunch of weird symptoms. I got an ultrasound that showed nothing out of the ordinary (surprise surprise – just like last time), but we were able to rule out appendicitis (again) as well as kidney stones (thank god).

The following day (instead of doing the site fair) I was sent to get an MRI, a thorax x-ray, and another ultrasound the next morning. The MRI was normal, but the ultrasound showed swelling in my intestines and there was a bunch of swelling around my stomach as well. Nobody knew why, so I went and did a bunch of tests that afternoon. With the mystery behind my sickness still…a mystery, I had to stay in Managua over the weekend – so much for my Chinandega party.

That Monday, after more tests, Peace Corps told me to sit tight for the day and they´d see what else they could test me for. The subsequent step was to send me to an infectologist – something I never knew existed (and initially thought was a joke). Not surprisingly, after doing his tests, the infectologist couldn´t diagnose me with anything either.

¨From these tests the only thing we know is that you´ve had an infection¨

¨Well when did I have this infection?¨

¨We don´t know.¨

We did some more tests and I returned the following day for him to tell me the following – ¨Yea, I don´t know what you want me to tell you, because I don´t know. Just stay in Managua for the next couple of days.¨

So Peace Corps sent an inquiry to Peace Corps med staff in Washington D.C., and I stayed in Managua until our LEC meeting that Friday in Olla de Barro (near my old training town of Masatepe). The LEC meeting wasn´t really all that useful for me since I´d already organized a competition, but for the new trainees (the meeting was with all the business volunteers), it was pretty good.

I spent the night in Malpaisillo (the problem with doing anything in Managua is if I can´t get out by around 1 PM, I can´t get back to my town), and finally, I headed back to Achuapa the following day (after being away for 10 days and losing 12 pounds). Fortunately, during this whole time that I was sick, all my schools were on vacation, so I missed absolutely nothing in my town. Up until Thursday, everybody would still be on vacation, so Brie showed up for a visit for a couple of days.

Come Thursday, I had classes in my public school, taught the last section (marketing) to the 10 kids that showed up. Also, since I missed out on my party weekend in Chinandega, Brie and I conspired to surprise Luis, and I showed up to Malpaisillo (where Luis was working on a presentation with Brie) to hang out with Luis and Brie together for the last time.

I headed back to Achuapa the following day to do some errands and work for the weekend. That Sunday, I got back on a bus, and went to León to have one last party day with Luis. However, being summer in the States, all the hostels in León were full which resulted in us staying in a small hotel (a nice one at that!). Brie was in León as well due to a meeting the following day, so we all stayed in the hotel that day. I had no money from being in Managua for so long (where I spent half of my monthly salary in a week), so I had my American card with me. It was here, with 20 cordobas (one dollar), that I discovered that my American debit card didn´t work. It was retained because some company in the States was hacked and my card number was stolen. So my card was cancelled without my knowledge – great. Luis and I avoided this problem by heading to the movie theatre where we met up with Brie who also had similar issues.

After watching the horrible movie (worst ever?), I headed back to our hotel and skyped my bank. There they told me of the issue with my card, and I was able to talk them into reactivating my card for an hour so I could withdraw money, thus ending my nightmare. Brie, Luis, and I headed out for dinner that night one last time before parting ways with Brie. Afterwards, Luis and I went to a bar (that may or may not have been a gay bar) and reminisqued about all the stupid, irresponsible things we did over the last year. It was a good time, and to conclude the night, I threw up in the road (I hadn´t drank alcohol in 2 months). The next morning, with Luis´ rocking chair in hand (he gave me one he couldn´t bring home), I caught the morning Achuapa bus.

I did some more organizing for my competition while in Achuapa the following days before heading to El Sauce on Wednesday the 15th, to say goodbye to Irene. When I showed up, she had everything packed up and was moving out of her house. For around an hour we sat around and chatted for awhile before she had to go. Before she left, Irene gave me a toaster oven that was owned by the volunteer who lived in Achuapa before me. We figured it was only appropriate to return it to the town it started out in.

After my classes on Thursday, I once again got back on a bus and headed to Malpaisillo for the night since I had to be in Managua on Friday to go back to the hospital (a follow up appointment for my plantar warts). Here also, PC Washington had gotten back to me where they told me that it is suspected that I have familial Mediterranean Fever. It´s a genetic disease that tends to happen with people from the Mediterranean area. After consulting all the symptoms, it makes a lot of sense. Oh well, things like that happens. Following my appointment with the dermatologist, I was still able to walk, and I headed back to Malpaisillo. What a day.

Still mobile, the next day, Brie and I headed to León for the day to go see the new Harry Potter movie and to meet up with Jordan who had just gotten back from Colorado. The day went well, and Jordan picked up some Colorado maps for me. Of course, the latest Harry Potter movie made absolutely no sense to me (having not read any of the books and only having seen the 3rd movie).

I headed back to Achuapa on Monday (the 20th) and got back into business. Unfortunately, my laptop keyboard is halfway broken (I can´t use some of the keys), so we´ll see how journalling goes now. I´ve been able to exercise a lot more since I haven´t been sick, which has made me a lot more balanced than I have been in the last month.


The Liquid Nitrogen Experience

2009 12 June

May 26th – June 11th

The last two weeks have been full of disappointments with minor gains. However, I knew stuff like this would be the case – in fact, that’s why I signed up for Peace Corps in the first place. While it’s frustrating to see so many things impede any potential I have going in a class, in the community, or just things that mess with me psychologically – it keeps me sharp and on my feet.

As mentioned, my frustrations have been on a various fronts. The main frustration was one involving my primary project in the schools. Now first of all, I love teaching, for whatever reason. I think I like it because it’s hard – I can plan a class as much as I want, but however my kids feel determines the pace of the class and overall whether or not it was a success or not. While I resolved issues with my private school students, and their behaviour in class became amazing, the level of creativity in their ideas is a downer.

I’ve gotten tons of great ideas for classes from a volunteer, which has been great. It’s helped me improve my class, but led to me comparing myself to the volunteer – a big no-no. It was just frustrating to not know the strategies and things to do to yield a successful outcome – things that I wouldn’t know without the cold, hard experience. We all bring something different to the table, and it was just something that I don’t have. This all was made an even more disappointing experience by the fact that roughly 40% of my kids are passing my classes. While it’s frustrating that so many students decide to not pay attention in class, and not study for exams, it was disappointing to go through such lengths to ensure the success of the students only to see the exact same result.

In my campo school, 3 of 16 kids passed the exam, which left me stunned. The really discouraging part was the fact that I told the kids for 5 weeks what they were going to do. They told me every week they were good. We did a review; they told me they understood that too. Then come the day of the exam, they said they didn’t understand. If just one person had said, “I don’t understand.” I would’ve postponed the exam. I just don’t get it.

However, it’s just something to learn from, and now I’ll be focusing and harnessing my strengths, to try to yield the desired outcome I’m seeking.

I got away from it all by going to Chinandega the last weekend of May, but that just didn’t cut it. I don’t know what it was, but for some reason, it was the only calm weekend we’ve had in my 11 months of going there. Luis will be headed back to the states in July, so my Chinandega days are dwindling down. So maybe it was the disappointment, or whatever. Maybe it was just an off weekend. Who knows?

Another totally unrelated, but something I don’t understand part of Nicaragua is the infidelity. For such a heavily religious country, the logical thought is that this yields a more moral nation, yet it seems to be the opposite here. While I was well aware of the amount of infidelity in the country, I’ve mostly become aware of this via word of mouth. However, in the last couple weeks I was involved in more than a handful of conversations where people are blatantly direct about the fact that their dirtbags. Machismo is an interesting thing.

All of this yielded a very high rating on my “If I were to ET (early terminate) my service, which I won’t, this is how close I’d be” meter. I say this because as I’ve continually said, I’ll never quit, ever. I made the commitment, and I’ll honour it. It’s not hard to be a Peace Corps volunteer, but I’ll be damned if it doesn’t piss me off sometimes.

In the midst of all these negative experiences, I had not one, but TWO dreams about Colorado. The first one involved me being on a train that was passing through Denver. We were told we were making a stop in Denver to stretch our legs, and I exited to find myself near my house – and I just bawled. Upon waking up, my first words out of my mouth were, “What the hell was with that? I feel fine.” I shrugged the dream off only to experience another last Friday night. I woke up around 1:30 AM for whatever reason and was unable to get back to sleep. When exhaustion finally got the best out of me and while passed out, I had a dream (in reverse) of things I’d do if I were to go home (for a vacation). The dream ended with me walking up the jetway in Denver and seeing the mountains out the window. I then proceeded to drop to my knees and cry. I immediately woke up after this and that was all I needed. Once could be a fluke, but having a dream like that twice points to one thing – while I could not go home and be fine, something on the inside is telling me to go home. So that’s my game plan now – I’m aiming for a two-week vacation back to the states sometime in December or January.

To top everything off, on Monday I went back to Managua for another appointment with the dermatologist. She showed up 30 minutes late (again, which put me on edge since I hate staying in Managua), and told me we were going to burn my plantar warts with liquid nitrogen. I had never experienced any procedure with liquid nitrogen in the past, and she asked if I’d heard anything. It was then that I realised I’d heard absolutely nothing. I told her I imagined it hurt a lot because it was super cold. That sounded pretty probable to me. She told me that yes, it was unpleasant, and that it would hurt a lot. “Right,” I thought to myself. Well, she was right. With 9 plantar warts on one foot and one on the other, I feel this is where the problem came from. If I had one or two, I would’ve been able to handle it, but that wasn’t the case.

When she first applied it, I was first reminded of running barefoot in the snow. It’s freezing, but tolerable. After 9 times on one foot though, it was rough. I wouldn’t say it felt any different, but that I began feeling that “running barefoot through the snow” feeling deeper in my foot, and all over it. She said she was going to do it 3 times to each wart, but this would be inaccurate. She definitely applied it 3-4 times to each wart each time she would do a “round.” What she really meant it she would do 3 rounds of death on my feet. I managed the first round, but the second round I was practically ripping the cushioning off the padded doctors table. She stopped after round two because I was too “tense” apparently. Fine with me.

She told me the worst was over since she’d stopped applying the liquid nitrogen, but my problems really just began there. I made it back to the Peace Corps office, to the bus station, and somehow caught a bus to Malpaisillo in time. However, upon arriving in Malpaisillo, my ability to walk had diminished incredibly. A normally 5-minute walk now took a good 15 minutes. Things got worse as the night went on as well – 3 of my blisters swelled up with blood.

The next morning I could only hobble to the bus station. While considering chopping off my foot on the bus, I left it on and barely managed to hobble to my house. Things just got worse the following days as well. I was unable to walk, let alone teach, and was forced to stay in my house. Some friends found me some crutches to use, which I did use for one day. However, one day of using these left my armpits bruised, blisters on my hands, and turned a normal 15-minute shopping trip to my favourite pulperia into an hour-long trip. Things got worse later as my foot swelled up more and I managed to go to the corner to buy tortillas and get back to my house in 20 minutes. This virtual inability to move killed my enthusiasm to even try. I couldn’t even go to the store to buy food, so I’ve been living off of oatmeal and corn flakes. Good thing I take a vitamin. I sent my buddy to buy some syringes for me, and after draining the blood myself (a horrible daunting task initially), I had more but still severely limited mobility in my feet.

Due to my immobility, I have been stuck in my house for around 2.5 days watching movies and TV shows (thanks Phil!). Unfortunately for me, I finished them all (I’ve averaged 10 hours of watching these shows the last 2 days), and am now on to more productive things. While I did have a pretty crummy couple of weeks, I did have some high points. I got to see some people I hadn’t seen in awhile (that felt great), and I did my first successful business advising (well, via the method that Peace Corps advocates). I got a buddy of mine to implement a basic accounting system, do an analysis of the community, and make a market study so he can survey and see if his idea for a business (cyber) is viable in the community.

I’m surviving. Still here. Things are good – just a bit slowed down at the moment. Here’s hoping I can walk tomorrow.


I have giardia, intestinal worms, and a bacterial infection – all at the same time!

2009 16 April

March 30th

 

Nothing.

 

March 31st

 

Today I gave my first business exam to my private school students. Of the 19 that took the exam, a grand total of 5 people got a 60% or higher (with 3 of those people getting A’s). My students were pissed, and then had the nerve to say that it was my fault they failed. I was pissed they failed, but even more pissed that they could say I was to blame. I had no trick questions on the exam at all, and not even that, I told them all exactly what they should study – and they apparently studied nothing.

 

Mad.

 

April 1st

 

With the month of March ending on such a rough note, I have a feeling that April will be a difficult month. Unfortunately, my campo kids did nothing to change my feeling. They screwed around most of the class, and one of my student groups hasn’t even picked an idea for their projects. All they do is sit around laughing, drawing on each other, etc. They’re toast, and even after being scolded by the principal, they don’t care. 

 

April 2nd

 

Today I gave the exact same exam to my students in the Instituto. The couple previous days, whenever I saw a student in the street, I’d tell them to study hard. They all told me they would – they didn’t.

 

There are around 31 students in my class, and just a handful of them passed the exam. The ones that didn’t pass the exam, not only failed, but they failed HORRIBLY. I couldn’t even fathom how so many could do so poorly on the exam. Their participation is amazing, and their ideas are great, but for some reason, the majority of them did horribly on the exam. The material I spent 3 weeks on yielded absolutely nothing on their exams – literally. They just left the answer blank. Ironically, the student who fights with me the most in class ended up getting one of the best grades in the class. However, it was obvious that most of my class did little to no studying before the exam. Shame.

 

After leaving the Instituto, I was livid (I had just finished grading their exams), and had to keep teaching at my private school. Upon arriving, my counterpart informed me that I’d be teaching the class solo because she had to go to a teacher’s meeting. So I went to teach my kids even though they weren’t paying attention/were angry because they failed the exam. I ended up spending most of the time asking the kids how they expected to pass the class if they weren’t going to do anything. In the midst of this one-way discussion, I was summoned to the teacher meeting. There I found all the secondary school professors and the director (the priest) of the school. They wanted to know why so many students failed the class. The majority resorted to blaming my teaching methodology, and the fact that my exam wasn’t multiple-choice. To this I responded that the students in my other schools failed the exam too (“Oh, so this is not just a problem in our school” – Exactly, it’s a countrywide issue) have to present in a competition and will not be able to select a multiple-choice answer when the judges have questions about their businesses. Then they all wanted me to give the students a “rescate” or some way to make up the points (mind you the grades were to be turned in a few hours). So instead of doing that, I told them I’d make the first trimester worth less than the last two.

 

I was even more enraged after this meeting (since most of my students had failed, and because I was told that it was my fault the students failed), and went home, threw stuff in a bag, locked up my house, and got on the bus. I said nothing to anybody, I just left.

 

April 3rd

 

Today I just hung out in Malpaisillo and did nothing. I earned that nothing.

 

April 4th

 

After getting up early, Brie and I headed to Las Peñitas for our tri-annual VAC (volunteer advisory committee) meeting. During the meeting we discuss things that we (the volunteers in the department) think needs to be improved with Peace Corps. We can have the meeting wherever we want, so this time we went to the beach in León at a super nice restaurant. Following the meeting I went with Jordan, Brie, Irene and Olena an environmental volunteer to a coffee shop in León (I’m pretty sure it’s the only one), and talked for a while. After which, I headed to Managua with Olena to pick up my buddy Jeff who was flying in later that night.

 

Jeff’s plane showed up around 5 hours late, leaving me extremely bored until he showed up around 11:30 PM. He brought me some presents too – 8 Colorado beers, a bottle of Becherovka, and Tabasco sauce. Good work Jeff.

 

April 5th – April 11th

 

I don’t even know how to put this week into words. It was just too unbelievable. So I’m not going to.

 

April 12th

 

I hung out in Malpaisillo with Brie to close out the weekend, and just chilled out.

 

April 13th

 

Today I got back to Achuapa after an incredible 11-day stretch of being out of site. It was a weird feeling. However, after a couple hours, it felt good to be back in town (and I didn’t have the rage I left with). So I caught up with everybody, tutored Johani for a bit, and went to my buddy’s house for dinner/showing him and his son how to play the computer games I gave them.

 

April 14th

 

Completely energized from an amazing sleep (I slept around 10 hours), I woke up at 5 AM to hop the bus to Largartillo to talk with the primary school principal about doing a spelling bee. The bus ride took about an hour and I rolled into town about an hour before classes started. Judging by the way everybody was looking at me, I gathered it was the first time any of them had seen a gringo dressed up (there is an Spanish school in the town, and a handful of white people at all times studying there, but they all look like grubby backpackers). The principal was out of town, so I spoke with the vice principal (who lives in Achuapa), and she was super excited about the spelling bee and said they would keep in touch with me during the process of teaching the students and for help with the competition.

 

It took a lot less time to discuss the spelling bee than I had planned, so I went to the bus stop in Largartillo and planned to wait for the bus that would show up at 9:30. There I met an old homeless guy who told me he made pants, but had nowhere to live, he just travelled and survived by selling pants. He told me I could walk to Achuapa in less than an hour (it’s 5-6 km), so with this information, I put on my sandals and walked to town.

 

I got to my house in 53 minutes, which I was pretty impressed with. I spent the majority of the day in my house chilling out, and I tutored Johani a bit as well.

 

As soon as she left though, I got a bit of a stomachache. This is a always a bad sign, as a stomachache in Peace Corps is never a stomachache, but a sign that you’ve got something living inside you that shouldn’t be. I shrugged it off and went to my buddy’s house to eat dinner, but didn’t stick around to chat because I didn’t feel well.

 

At home, I watched a movie to kill some time, but my kitchen was full of flying ants that kept on dive-bombing me, so I decided to just go to sleep. By this time, it was around 8 PM, and the pain in my stomach was intolerable. I tried to sleep, but every time I’d lay down, I’d have to get up again to go to the bathroom. I was nauseous, had diarrhea, and couldn’t lay down. I couldn’t stand this process, so I resorted to just lying in my hammock since I would definitely be getting up again to go to the bathroom. Finally, I ended up throwing up (this is all in a 2-hour time span), and after laying in my hammock for 30 minutes, the pain had subsided enough that I was able to go to sleep.

 

April 15th

 

I woke up and still had diarrhea, so I called my counterpart to tell her I wouldn’t be able to go to class. I then headed to the health center to turn in a stool sample and get some blood work. I waited for an hour and a half before we were told the lab specialist wasn’t coming in (she only had to work 4 days a week for an hour each day – what is she doing?), so I went to a private laboratory (which I didn’t even know existed), which was a concrete room with a microscope and a centrifuge, and got everything taken care of. An hour and a half later I had my results – I have giardia, a bacterial infection, and worms. A 3 in 1 package! So I’m back on cipro, antiparasite drugs, and anti worm drugs. It seems that the Peace Corps life that I’d expected but had yet to experience is all catching up with me this month. Well, gotta get it over with sometime.


When in doubt, let Donald Duck lead the way

2009 31 March

March 18th

 

After going to the gym for a bit, I headed over to Los Caraos to teach my class. After presenting the material (doing a market study), I told my kids that after they finished the questions and after I OK’ed their questions, they could use class time to go out and do their surveys (they needed to do 30). Upon hearing this, most of the class just got up and left. After grilling them and about half of them came back to the classroom. Slackers.

 

March 19th

 

The couchsurfer observed my class in one of my schools today, so I just said he was there on behalf of the Ministry of Education to observe the conduct of the students because he heard they misbehaved too much (even though they’re my best class). Following that class, I headed home for a bit to plan for my class at my private school (the first class with my new Thursday class time). I showed up at my class and my students kept telling me class was cancelled, that my counterpart wasn’t there, and a bunch of other nonsense. I got them all in the classroom, and they protested to cancel the class because they wanted to play kickball. They wasted tons of time complaining, so I said if they didn’t complain the whole time, and participated, they could leave early when we finished the material. They did just that (but nobody took notes – bad idea), and we got out after about 20 minutes (instead of an hour and a half). Since the class was over, I hopped the next bus out of Achuapa, and headed to Malpaisillo for an early start to my birthday weekend.

 

March 20th

 

We headed out around 11 and went to Chinandega for the “big” day (we were going to celebrate my birthday on Friday instead of Sunday). We lounged around most of the morning before getting things started in the afternoon. Our friend Carlos showed up with a present for me – a tank top with 23 on the front and my “name” Goguez written on the back. Since he’d arrived, we headed over to Lagos (the amazing food place in Chinandega), and going to the baseball game.

 

We showed up at the game in the 3rd inning with the expectation of losing our voices by the end of the game. We got a good start and heckled away for around 15 minutes. The 4th inning came around and the opposing team was up to bat. With one out, a batter popped a foul down the right field line. Just when the ball had reached its peak, the power in the whole stadium went out. Since we’d just gotten there, we weren’t about to just leave, and we thought the lights would eventually come back on. Alas, the power never did come back on, so we just sat around screaming refund, and getting our game’s worth of beer.

 

We left the stadium and hitchhiked backed to Luis’ house. Once there, Luis and Carlos set up a piñata and blind folded me and gave me a steel tube to break the piñata. Unfortunately, I just ended up removing paint from the short part of Luis’ wall the piñata was suspended from, and was unable to bust open the piñata. Eventually, we just brought it down on the floor and skewered the piñata. We then found out how piñatas are made in Nicaragua – a clay pot surrounded by the piñata itself.

 

We headed to Dilectus afterwards to…continue the night. I’d had enough around 12:30, so Luis and I took off for his house afterwards.

 

March 21st

 

Just more Lagos. Nothing else happened. We tend to follow a “Party day, recovery day” pattern. That was the plan anyway, but Brie’s friend Carla showed up and wanted go out, so we went back to Dilectus (but to the outdoor bar) for a couple of hours that night.

 

March 22nd

 

Today was what yesterday was supposed to day, a day of nothing. So I spent my birthday just chilling out.

 

March 23rd

 

I headed back to Achuapa, and rolled in around noon for the start of the week. Little did I know that this week would hold virtually NOTHING for me.

 

March 24th – March 26th

 

These days were completely worthless. March 24th, much like the 23rd was spent doing nothing since I don’t have classes. I got a handful of new movies and shows from Phillip, so I watched those in addition to playing a new game Luis got (Sim City 4 – bad news). March 25th, my class in Los Caraos was only 45 minutes long because of some competition between Los Caraos and my public school in Achuapa. Thursday, I was going to get my kids all caught up on the market study, and then give them time to ask questions about the exam in the next week, but both of these classes were cancelled. So I taught class for a grand total of 45 minutes the whole week.

 

March 27th

 

I wanted to meet the principal of the school out in Largartillo (a community 5 km up in the mountains from Achuapa), so I woke up early to go to the TEPCE meeting that MINED has every month for every school district in the country. I generally don’t go because I plan with my teachers individually, but one of my counterpart’s showed up in the morning and said I needed to show up as well. I spoke with the principal of the primary school in Largartillo to see if she’d be interested in the spelling bee. She said she would be interested in doing it, so I told her I told her I’d stop by after Semana Santa (the first week of April). Afterwards, I went to my instituto where the secondary school TEPCE was to find out why they wanted me there. They just wanted me to write what classes I’d be doing for the month – something my counterparts could have done without me, but whatever. This incredibly taxing activity took me 15 minutes, and I headed back home.

 

The lights were out, so I just cleaned my house, and did some errands. It’d been a while since we hadn’t had power, so I couldn’t figure out what to do. Usually when I’m bored, I play a game, or watch a movie, but now that wasn’t an option – so it was back to the hammock with a book. The power finally game on around 6 PM, and I threw on the first episode of season 2 of Mad Men (great show). This was a short-lived activity as the bus Brie was coming in showed up 10 minutes later. I continued my cooking practice with some barbeque chicken and vegetables (oh man I missed barbeque sauce SO much).

 

March 28th

 

I woke up super early and did the dishes, and we got a good breakfast in before finally realising the activity we’d planned to do for a while – go to the waterfalls in Largartillo. With 2 litres of water and a couple of Clif bars, we set out for the 5 km, straight uphill walk to Largartillo. It was overcast, breezy, and cool out so the walk itself was actually quite pleasant. We walked around a kilometre before we saw a truck going the direction we were going. We asked for a ride, and saved a ton of time by getting taken the last 3 kilometres (which are the steepest part of the route) to the Largartillo empalme.

 

Once in Largartillo we started the arduous process of finding the waterfalls. We got out of the town itself (well, more of a road – I think there are around 15 houses in the whole town), and down the path to the waterfalls pretty easily with directions to walk to the cow corral and ask the people in the house where the waterfall is. We trekked for about 20 minutes before stumbling upon a house. There were a bunch of cows in the yard, so we figured this must be the place – after all, this was the first house we’d seen since we’d left the town. Brie went and asked the guy if he knew where the waterfall is in a conversation that went as follows:

 

“Buenas!” (This greeting she shouted was drowned out by cow moos, so she said it again)

“We’re looking for the waterfall. Do you know how to get there?”

“Waterfall? I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“There is supposedly a big waterfall down this road.”

“No, there is just a small stream to bathe yourself with a pail.”

“Oh…uh…well where is that?”

“Through here.”

At this point, I chimed in:

“They told us that there is some huge waterfall called Las Lamas, laguas, or something like that if we keep going down this road.”

“You mean Las Laguas?”

“Yea, yea, that’s the one.”

“Oh yea, you’ve never been to it?”

“NO. That’s why we’re looking for it.”

“Oh yea! Just keep going straight down this road!”

 

So all in all, this conversation was worthless as there was only one road to go down in the first place. We continued down the road and asked the same question to a lady on a horse – she too confirmed that the waterfall was just straight down the road, and the road ended at the waterfall. Awesome. So this would be super simple to get to. We walked for a while before gradually going down hill, passing through some sort of gate. I’d heard that we had to pass through a few farms to get to the waterfall, so this made sense. Some guy with a machete was up in the hills and paused for a few seconds to watch us come through before continuing his work. This must have meant that he wasn’t surprised to see us in his farm, so I thought. We finally got down to a small stream where a guy mounted horse was.

 

“So…we’re looking for the waterfall.”

“Waterfall? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” (There appeared to be some kind of different dialect spoken so the guy didn’t quite understand the word waterfall)

“We heard that there is a huge waterfall around here.”

“Nope, just this little brook.”

“Are you serious? I heard there were 3 or 4 waterfalls around here, some are really big too.”

“Oh, you mean the salto with the place where you can swim as well.”

“Yea, I guess so.”

“Oh, those are WAY down this river. You’ve got to walk a long way. You missed the path; there was a little path way up the mountain that you needed to take to get to the waterfall. You could follow this river, but then you wouldn’t know how to get back.”

 

At this point, some old guy with a machete showed up literally making noises like Donald Duck. He shook the hand of the guy on the horse with yet another Donald Duckesque noise. “Well, this guy will be no help, he only speaks…duck,” is what ran through both of our heads. Then the guy on the horse took off laughing and the duck man with a machete came up and started speaking to us in Spanish thankfully. We told him we were looking for the waterfall, which he confirmed existed, but way down the river. He then went off on some tangent, telling us about a house that is like a hotel and has amazing soup. He said no more after this, but merely motioned that we should follow him. So we did.

 

We walked a bit before coming up to a fence, “Shhh…the owners live right there.” he told us. So without a word, we trespassed through the fence and across the guy’s property that had the river flowing through it. The guy with the machete led the way, chopping things at random (even if it wasn’t in the way of the path – he just was going nuts with his machete). He led us zigzagging up and down the mountain for a long time before we heard a river. “Great, we’re going towards the river,” I thought, only to start heading up the mountain and away from the sounds of the river. Neither Brie nor I had any idea where we were going, but we but got a sense that we were going towards this hotel with the soup we neither asked about, nor wanted to go to. I finally asked him where we were going, and he said we were being quiet since we were trespassing. It didn’t answer my question, but I just went with it. Fortunately, we ended up taking a path back down the mountain, one that was incredibly steep. This path eventually ended up at the waterfalls where the guy explained that it was always super full during Semana Santa. We gave the guy 20 cords for unexpectedly being our guide, and went and checked out the waterfall.

 

The waterfall itself was more of a series of waterfalls that dropped around 200 feet in total in a bunch of 50ish foot waterfalls. They were all surrounded by huge boulders, which made exploring super easy. We hung out there for about an hour, eating a Clif bar, getting hydrated, and just relaxing next to the water.

 

After taking the waterfall in, we scaled the boulder wall out of the waterfall area to blindly find our way down the path we hadn’t taken back to Largartillo. Since nobody had crossed the land we were on, we made our way back to the place where the duck man told us the path was by merely following the marks left by our sandals in the ground (which could’ve proved to be as reliable as Hansel and Gretel’s plan). The path led around the mountain along a thin path through god knows where. While we were walking without a clue, we were afforded some incredible panoramic views. The path wound around and around before bringing us to a fence. We followed a series of fences before miraculously ending up bath on the main road to Largartillo (which was next to the house with an ACTUAL cow corral. Nobody was in the house when we passed by, so we were unable to ask the way).

 

Now on a familiar path, we walked back into Largartillo and ran into one of the gringo’s I’d played Frisbee with a couple weeks ago. There were a handful of other white people there, one of which had a couple of questions about Peace Corps that we answered.

 

With the goal of getting to the good comedor for lunch (which might be closing at 2 PM), we began the journey back to Achuapa. From the entrance to Largartillo on the dirt highway back to Achuapa, you actually can look down and see the town – and it was not close, it was a long way…down. I had my fingers crossed that we’d have another truck give us a lift, but it was not to be. Nevertheless, we got into Achuapa around an hour and 10 minutes after starting off from the Largartillo empalme, not bad (it’s about 5 km).

 

Completely dead, sunburned, dehydrated, and starving, we drank around a gallon of water, some Gatorade, and some cantaloupe. This energized us enough to walk over to the restaurant in town. Following the incredibly deserved lunch, we lost all energy whatsoever, and just chilled out and got out of the heat.

 

Come dinnertime, we made more barbeque chicken and vegetables and watched Milk, the movie with Sean Penn. Great movie.

 

March 29th

 

We had a handful of vegetables left over from the chicken the previous night, so we threw these in some omelettes. All in all, I’d say my cooking ability has increased a good amount – I’ve lost the fear to improvise while cooking, I just lack common sense when it comes to things you can do, like putting fruit in oatmeal. Not my brightest moment.

 

We had lunch again over at the comedor, and Brie took off at 2:45.

 

That afternoon, I wrote a couple of exams for my schools this week (half the points on my exam in my private school are from the class where nobody was taking notes). With that out of the way, I finished up the 5 episodes of Mad Men that I have, and went to sleep. It should be a pretty low key week with only exams. But then again, I’ll need a low-key week considering my buddy Jeff is coming to visit me from the States on Saturday.

 


Brie. Brie. Brie. The light is on.

2009 13 January

January 7th

 

After waking up early, heading to the gym, and unsuccessfully trying to get a haircut, I headed to Malpaisillo to hang out for half the day. The next day I’ll head to León for a meeting with all the volunteers of León. Essentially it’s a meeting for us all to complain about stuff we don’t like about Peace Corps (think policies). From what I hear, we make a bunch of suggestions, then the staff shoots down everyone of them. For this reason alone, I want to be the representative for our department.  She might actually hand off the position to me too. Must be that Colorado connection.

 

Another reason I went early was that my buddy Luis randomly decided he would show up too – giving me even more reason to go. On that note, it’d probably turn into some kind of disaster.

 

The ride took way longer than it should have (cows were passing us on the highway going down from El Sauce to the main highway) but eventually I showed up (but got off on the highway because the bus drive told me they wouldn’t be going in town). As my luck would have it, they did drive into town, and I was left to walk to long road into town. On the long walk, I ran into none other than Brie, Luis, and Brie’s friend Karla:

 

“We’re going to the bar, do you have money?”

“Yea…”

“Good, then you can cover us.”

 

And so began my Malpaisillo escapades – not even 10 minutes after being there, we were in a bar. To make matters…more interesting…Luis convinced us (god knows how) that beer had too many calories, “You have to take care of yourself.” he repeated. So out came the rum and so began the end of the night.

 

Upon getting back to Brie’s house, Luis and I had a craving for coconut milk that needed to be satisfied. Phil can attest to what happens when I had a craving (he’s the same) – I need to fulfill that craving. There’s no ‘if’ – I have to do it. Fortunately for everybody involved, Brie had a coconut tree in her backyard – a 20 foot one. Not to be deterred I attempted to climb it, but I am not a very good climber – especially after a couple tragos of rum. But damn my skill, I wanted coconuts. Brie hooked me up with a ladder that appeared to be made out aluminum edging. Unfortunately, it was as flexible as a ladder made out of aluminum edging – which is not a characteristic one looks for in a ladder. Scenarios like this generally end up with a “Remember when I fell off the ladder” story. Not looking for a story like that, not now anyway. So up the wobbly ladder I went which to my dismay left me a good 10 feet short of the coconut treasure that laid above. I tried summoning my Fantastic Four stretch arms, and even tried “Go go Goggins arms” but alas, they remained out of my reach. As I’d already discovered my climbing skills were well below par, I decided against scaling the rest of the tree – so we got some random guy to do it. In all honestly, I don’t have the slightest clue where this guy came from, but it’s a good thing he did. So we gave Mr. Random Guy a machete and said, “Ok, we want coconuts, climb the tree.” Mr. Random Monkey-esque man (you should’ve seen how easy he got to the top!) climbed the tree and cut us off 5 coconuts.

 

We ate some dinner and then after skinning the coconuts (I don’t know who did it, but they magically appeared ready to stick a straw in them) we enjoyed a nice coconut drink, well that was the plan anyway. A couple seconds later, I realised that in fact I hate coconut milk, it’s crap. It didn’t help that my coconut milk was a bit rancid, so I tried another one with pretty much the same result. At least that craving is finally over and done with, I now know why coconut has always tasted so good – sugar.

 

We all then sat around and played cards for the rest of the night while we emptied bottles of rum (bohužel). Luis and I pretty much tackled the bottles ourselves so the night, hence the night ending as follows:

 

“Brie.”

“Brie.”

“Brie.”

“The light’s on.”

“Brie. Turn off the light.”

“The light’s on.”

 “Brie…”

 

Eventually she turned off the light and we fell unconscious.

 

January 8th

 

The day started much like the yesterday ended:

 

“Brie.”

“Brie, we’re hungry”

“Brie, make us eggs.”

“Brie.”

“Brie.”

“Brie.”

“Brie.”

“Brie. We want juice too.”

“Pancakes too.”

“We want homefries.”

“Waffles would be nice.”

“Brie.”

“Brie.”

 

Brie who’d been out on her patio thought we were still passed out from the night before until her friend Karla (who lives next door) told Brie we were up, “Listen.” She told her. Sure enough, we were calling her name as well as making our demands. For some reason, she actually yielded to our demands and we got pancakes, eggs, and fresh squeezed orange juice. Good way to start the day.

 

We caught the bus to León (where the cobrador of the bus asked me to give him my hat) and hung out at the gas station a bit (we needed our electrolytes apparently). We wasted a bit of time in León checking our mail (I got 5 packages! – Thanks Mom, Gram, Heather) before Luis headed back to Chinandega and Brie and I went to our meeting.

 

The meeting itself was more of a social gathering for us to meet the new volunteers in our department (there were 10 new ones – that’s a 66% increase!) and I swapped some music and movies with some volunteers (400 new songs – awesome!).

 

Then it was just the busride back to the campo with Irene.

 

January 9th

 

Not entirely sure if I did anything productive today aside from planning an English class (which never happened since my student didn’t show up). I did peel a couple of oranges, but really I sat around the whole day waiting for the world to come to me – and it didn’t.

 

January 10th

 

I was more productive this time around – I did a bunch of errands during the morning (I need to clean this house before my parents come) and visited with a few friends.

 

I chatted with my neighbor a bit about how Nicaragua was during the war. He told me that you couldn’t even be friends with your neighbor because any argument ended with somebody taking our a machine gun and just killing the other person. Not only that, but everybody had 4 to 5 machine guns in their house (a fact that was confirmed by about 10 passerbyers). You didn’t go anywhere without your machine gun – not even when you went to take a bath in the river. Everybody 10 and up never went around in the streets without a gun. I also learned that my neighbor’s house was used to shoot at the Somoza base that was located at the end of the block (where the Ministry of Education building now is), and the park across from my street was used as a helicopter landing area for the government military. Furthermore, most houses have evidence of machine gun fire – I’d just never bothered to look. My other neighbor walks with a limp because he was shot through the leg during the war.

 

All food was rationed with a coupon – hell, all of anything was rationed by the government with a coupon. People were given a couple of pounds of rice and beans to hold them over for a couple of weeks. There were no stores like there are now – money was worthless. I can’t even picture the aforementioned without it permanently being cloudy (even though I know it was probably sunny all the time). It leaves a very Hemingway-esque feel to it – and here it was raining.

 

The entire afternoon I tackled the book my mom sent me (inadverntently – I just meant to skim it real quick). I bought a hammock earlier in the day, so I got to lounge around in it the rest of the afternoon while I read. God knows why I never got one earlier because they’re amazing.

 

January 11th

 

I finished the rest of my book:

 

Starbucked: A double tall tale of Caffeine, Commerce, and Culture – A

A great book. It’s a shame I had to wait over a year to read it! I don’t even drink coffee and I had a hankering to start drinking some immediately after reading it. It dispels myths and lays out the entire formula Starbucks went through to go from small time independent chain to the megacorporation it is now.

 

Since that took most of the morning, I hung out on my porch for a bit eating an orange. Since our patron saints festival is this weekend, this yielded many a drunk person coming up to me:

 

“Hey chele. Give me 10 pesos.”

“No.”

“Ok. Give me 2 pesos.”

“No.”

“But I just want a little beer. A nice cold beer.”

“No.”

“Ok. Give me one peso. I really want that little beer.”

“No.”

“Ok. Well take it easy chele.”

 

I grew tired of this drunk babble as well as the fireworks (that were set off every 10 seconds) so I headed to Johanni’s house for a couple of hours. There I had a couple of oranges and hung out with Johanni and her family a bit. I also learned that her parents are counting down the days until my parents get here. According to Johanni, they’re “desperately counting the days until they come.” She says they keep asking her questions, “Do you think they’ll like Achuapa?” “When are they coming to the house?” “How much Spanish do they know?”

 

I hope my parents are ready.

 

I hung out with Yordanka a bit afterwards on my porch before heading to my counterparts house for dinner. There I saw a typical Univision TV show with scantily clad women doing very little/very bad acting (but that’s not really why you watch Univision). While this did not surprise me, the next commercial break did. Apparently there is a show that debuts tomorrow that is called “Sin senos, no hay paraíso.” For those of you that aren’t Spanish speakers, the translation is “Without breasts, there is no paradise.” I can only imagine what this show could be about, but I’ll definitely be tuning in.

 

January 12th

 

Today began with my normal routine of going to a gym. I did a couple of visits (and made it a point to actually learn the names of some of the people I’ve been talking to for months) and made some of the daily purchases before heading back home and filling the rest of the morning with a movie.

 

The afternoon rolled around and I had an English class with Johanni until 3:30. For some reason Johanni and Yordanka both struggle with directions (things like Northwest, Southeast, etc) are damn near impossible for them to understand. So we spent most of the class discussing directions like that. When the class ended, Rafa, my counterpart’s son, showed up and said there was somebody from Peace Corps who was lost. Kind of confused, I came out on my porch and met a girl named Kat. She was heading to Largartillo (the Spanish school 10 km west of Achuapa) and had missed the bus that goes that way. So on top of knowing no Spanish, she had no way of getting to the place where she could learn Spanish. So I set out to find a ride for her, which was a lot easier than it I initially thought it would. My counterpart that I eat dinner with everyday said he’d give her a ride there at 4:30. That gave us half an hour to kill, so I gave her some food and water (you have to dehydrate yourself on that bus ride so you don’t have to go to the bathroom in the middle of it) and we chatted about Peace Corps and I gave her a run down on Nicaragua. Turns out she was a volunteer in Senegal a couple years and a month ago up and decided to come to Nicaragua to learn Spanish (sounds like a sporadic idea I’d come up with). I also found out that she got paid the same thing that I do now – after I got my raise. She also mentioned that she spent next to nothing of her paycheck (and didn’t have to pay rent!) so her paycheck went real far. She was surprised to hear we had soymilk here, so I brought her over to the biggest pulperia in the world to buy some before she headed to Largartillo (which renders you pretty isolated). My counterpart showed up at 4:30, and off she went – no longer totally screwed. Definitely a cool “Peace Corps” experience.

 


A unique Christmas, finishing up my vacation, and the end of the best year ever

2009 2 January

December 25th

 

Christmas began in a rather nonchalant kind of way. Since you wouldn’t know it was Christmas here unless you looked at a calendar, I’d forgotten until I turned on the NBC 6 South Florida news. Without the presents, tree, family, and cold weather, Christmas felt like anything but Christmas – more like one of those 100 degree July summer days where you don’t want to do anything. Nevertheless, in the spirit of Christmas, we resolved to take a walk at least (to burn off our steaks from the previous night), pick up some stuff from the gas station (the only thing open on Christmas), and I made some phone calls to anybody in the U.S. whose number I had saved in my phone.

 

Brie, Luis, and I were all pretty gloomy since it was anything but Christmas-y, so we sat around watching movies and playing cards all day long while waiting for the opportunity to go to the amazing restaurant we ate at the previous night. The restaurant was really the only thing we had to look forward to since nothing was open and we had nothing else to do. That being said, you can only imagine how devastated we were when we discovered that it was closed that night.

 

With nowhere else to turn, we headed to the park to go to the bar. Sure they had some sort of holiday fair going on, but we just bypassed it all for the bar so we could appropriately inhibit any thoughts of how Christmas is for us normally. But therein lied another problem – we hadn’t eaten anything the whole day and now we were drinking.

 

Three hours later, we left the bar, and I had my sites set on the pupuseria next door. I was definitely inebriated at this point, and nothing sounded better than a good pupusa. However, when I went to buy my pupusa, I was informed that there weren’t any:

 

(All this is in Spanish mind you)

 

“But they’re the only thing you sell!

“Well, there aren’t any.”

“How can there not be any?”

“There isn’t any cheese.”

“How can you have no cheese?”

“I don’t know, but there isn’t anymore.”

“You’re kidding me – when is there going to be cheese?”

“Who knows…maybe tomorrow.”

“Unbelievable.”

 

I went back to meet with Brie and Luis quite dejected and we finished our beers (I think?) before heading over to the Tip Top (The Nicaraguan version of KFC, which we were calling Top Tip for some reason). I ordered some dish called a fajita before seeing some blonde in the park and taking off running before Brie tackled me. Back in the Tip Top, we got our plates (my fajita turned out to be chicken fingers – I questioned what the hell he gave me since it clearly was not a fajita) and ate our food (and I ate some of Brie’s) before I saw some huge white ball (it must have been the size of the window – huge) walking by the Tip Top. I tried to pursue it but was immediately detained by Brie and Luis before I could make a break to go investigate (I heard it was some guy dressed as a giant baseball).

 

With that episode over with, we headed back to Luis’ house (where I continued to go into open houses and cat call apparently) to watch Aladdin. I made it 5 minutes into the movie before falling asleep.

 

Most unique Christmas experience I’ll probably ever have in my life.

 

December 26th

 

Since we enjoyed ourselves the previous night, we did nothing today – aside from going to the restaurant and getting another amazing meal. We literally played video games the entire day. Disgusting.

 

December 27th

 

Today we went with Luis’ friends, Cesar and Fernando, to a place called Campo Sano. It’s a sort of pool in the middle of flipping nowhere Chinandega, but was completely packed, and would have been totally awesome if I liked swimming. Brie, Luis, and I passed the day (8 hours) sitting in the bar playing cards, drinking, and we even met one of the new environmental volunteers from León. So he hung out and drank with us too. But I was too distracted by the Cañitas girls.

 

December 28th

 

I went back to Achuapa today – you can only imagine the excitement.

 

December 29th & 30th

 

Luis’ had this damn video game at his place (a strategy game), and unfortunately I got hooked on it. Also unfortunate was the fact that I was able to save it on my flashdrive and bring it home with me. This meant one thing – I pissed away two days doing absolutely nothing. But to mix it up a bit, I watched some new TV shows that Phil sent me – thanks man.

 

December 31st

 

I planned to go running this morning but instead got up, turned off the alarm and kept sleeping. I did make it to the gym at 7, and then passed most of the morning doing errands. I ran out of gas, so I had to go exchange my tank of gas at the pulperia across the street from the cooperativa finance office. This isn’t too far, but I had to haul the old tank over there on my bike. The blocks in the roads did me absolutely no good as the tank would continually slide across the top tube towards my saddle while I rode. In addition to annoying me, all this did was make a bunch of noise, and scratch off all the paint. I had absolutely no idea what I was getting into though. After buying the tank of gas (A mere 195 cordobas – not even 10 bucks, is that a good deal? I have no idea), I realised a full tank weighed about 50 lbs. Furthermore, I had to balance the tank on my top tube while I rode my bike one handed with my other hand holding on to the tank of gas (so as to avoid it falling off and having my life end in one big fiery explosion). I did make it though and went on with the rest of my errands and visits before having a class that afternoon. That brings me to now – reflection time.

 

Looking back at this year now that it’s over (holy crap – it’s over???), I can definitely say that this has easily been the best year of my life so far. I started out the New Year with Phil at the Czech bar in Denver where I stole a Budvar glass from the bar (that I subsequently lost). January 17th I headed out for my epic South American adventure with little idea about what I’d do except practice my Spanish be reckless (I did go to a political demonstration in Asunción that had the entire national military show up to suppress it – totally stupid idea by the way, but what an experience!), and meet crazy people (an Australian sheep farmer, a reckless vulgar Irish guy, and a Peruvian drug dealer (?) to name a few. I did just that and had an amazing time doing it. I hit 4 countries (Argentina, Uruguay, Paraguay, and Chile) on this adventure and my Spanish conversational skills took an amazing jump.

 

I got home the 13th of February having been informed by Peace Corps a week earlier that I’d been given my country assignment. I was officially invited on February 8th (a mere 74 days after turning in my application – INCREDIBLY quickly for a PC app), but my invitation didn’t show up until the following week. I spent that entire week going absolutely crazy and riding my bike around 50 miles a day to de-stress (my fate for the next 2 years was decided and in the mail!). I found out the following week right before heading to a movie with Yuki – Nicaragua, holy crap. We went and saw The Bucket List, which I saw but my mind was in other places. The entire time I thought I’d be going to Paraguay (I tirelessly researched countries I could potentially go to and the only one I’d found was Paraguay (one of the reasons I decided to go there, the other being that a round trip plane ticket cost 40 dollars from Buenos Aires). The next 3 months I spent getting ready for my adventure in Nicaragua, going on epic bike rides (57 miles with Jon on my birthday), trivia night at Denver bars, and going to a seemingly endless number of concerts (I can’t even count how many we went to Phil – but they were a good time). Appropriately, I ended my time in Denver exactly the way I started it – with Phil. We saw one more concert the night before I left (it got done at some god awful hour of the night), and I took off for DC the next day. There I spent a couple days with my buddy Drew (we had a couple of memorable nights), before signing my soul over to Peace Corps on the 7th of May.

 

That brings me to Nicaragua – 3 months of training, tons of experience, my Spanish improving incredibly, getting the site I wanted, and spending the last 5 months (I’ve been in my site 5 months?) becoming an Achuapeño.

 

Good times.

 

Good year.

 

Oh, and I killed a scorpion in the gym today (first one I’ve seen in Nicaragua).

 

January 1st

 

To start off the New Year right, I got up at 5 AM for my jog, as if I was keeping some sort of resolution. I was the only person awake at that hour with the exception of some drunk guys that still hadn’t gone to sleep yet. It was evident that some hardcore partying was going on as there was burned everything in the streets. While on my run, I saw what appeared to be a shrine with candles. “That’s nice.” I thought, only to realise that it was in fact a gigantic bush that had caught on fire, and I was seeing the embers that were still burning. I spent the rest of the morning watching the rest of Wonderfalls (shame they cancelled it)

 

After lunch, I headed over to Johanni’s house to pay her a visit. I hadn’t seen her for around two weeks, so I decided to drop by. I was immediately bombarded with a bag full of oranges, given a knife, and I went to work. During the couple of hours I was there, I just hung out talking to her family, brought all their cows out to the pasture (snapping in their ears gets them up – who’d have known?). I thought I might have a Spanish class that afternoon so I headed home to wait for Yordanka to show up. Alas, she didn’t show up (she got mad after I told her the class is over once she says “I can’t do it.” 3 times. So maybe I’ve got that much more free time now. Who knows.


Apparently I’m a spy. So I’m dealing with that.

2008 20 November

November 15th

Today was a horrible day, the worst day of Peace Corps yet. The whole day wasn’t really that bad, but two events happened that just destroyed the day. The first event was a problem with my neighbour, which I resolved after a couple of hours of brain damage.

The second isn’t even worth describing. I’m just going to write the dialogue I of a very hostile conversation I had with four men in front of my house:

“Hey chele! Come here.”

“Um…what’s up?”

“We heard what you said.”

“Um…what was it that I said.”

“You said that Sandinistas are terrorists.”

“Um…I don’t know where you heard that from, because I haven’t said anything. I don’t go to any of your parties, I don’t go to any of the Liberales parties. I’m not allowed to, and I’m not interested in attending any political event here. I’m a business teacher in the schools.”

“No, I know why you’re here. You’re from a ‘Peace’ organization. You’re f***ing counterintelligence.”

“I’m counterintelligence? Who the hell told you that? Why do you think that? I’m a teacher in 3 high schools here. Two of my counterparts are f***ing are Sandinistas, so why would I be saying Sandinistas are terrorists, and why would I be working with them if I thought they were terrorists? Who told you that I said Sandinistas are terrorists?”

“The people talk.”

“Yea, well who told you that? It’s obvious that this person was lying because I’ve never done anything or said anything about politics here.”

“All you white people that come to Achuapa are spies. I know you work for the CIA (He said his all as one word instead of as an acronym). We’re just good Achuapans, and you come here to invade us ”

“All of us are spies?”

“Not all of you.”

“Then why the f*** do you think I’m a spy?”

“Because you don’t f***ing fool us. We see you in the streets. We know what you’re doing.”

“What am I doing that makes you think I’m a spy? Why are you convinced I’m a spy?”

“Shut up chele, you can’t convince me. I know who you are.”

“Well, you’re obviously hearing lies and don’t have any idea what you’re talking about, because I’m not a spy. I’m a business teacher here.”

“I’ve lived here way longer than you chele. I know, the community knows – you don’t f***ing fool us. You can’t convince me.”

“If I can’t convince you, then why the f*** am I having this stupid conversation with you since you’re obviously just going to believe lies?”

“Chill out chele.”

“No, you can go to hell. You’ve seriously offended me by telling me you think I’m a spy, and that I’m here to invade your city. I’ve lived here for 4 months and have just been teaching in the schools and working with any person that wants to work with me. Go ask any of your buddy Sandinistas – everybody knows me. They’ll tell you I’m not a spy.”

“We’ll do our own investigations chele. Then we’ll find out if you’re telling the truth or not.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“We know who you are chele. We’ll see if you’re telling the truth.”

“Go to hell.”

This man then left (I almost ended up renting a house from this guy), and then I went over to one of my friends who was standing in the street. He was talking with his father, one of the men that was messing with me.

“Why do you think I’m a spy or counterintelligence? I work with his mom! He’s YOUR kid.”

“Chill out chele. We’ll do our own investigation.”

“This is ridiculous. You guys have no reason to think that I’m a spy.”

“See you later chele.”

This whole conversation was in the middle of the street in front of my house and was witnessed by probably 50 people, so I’m definitely lacking witnesses. I was irate after this and had no idea what to do. I went in my house, cracked, and left. While in the street, one of my neighbours told me I should go to the police station, so that’s what I did. The cops told me that the guy is one of those people that bark but don’t bite, but the next time I should just call them and they’ll come get him and throw him in jail. However, they did go out and look for him to talk to him after I left.

And that’s how the worst day in 6.5 months of Peace Corps service goes.

November 16th

Today was my no/limited Achuapa day. I was going to limit my interactions today so I read the last 80% of Alive. Good book.

Being idle for long periods of time makes me more motivated to work out, so I mixed that in with it too.

Oh yea, and one of my best friends, Danica, is Early Terminating. I think I’m going to take a mental health day.

November 17th

Aside from the my usual daily activities, the presentation of the diploma and prizes to the winners of the spelling bee at the primary school. So with that competition over and done with, I had successfully completed my first secondary project and it was such a huge success, that an attempt is going to be made to do a spelling bee with the 5th graders before the school year ends next week. But regardless, the spelling bee with take place next year, but will be planned into the curriculum so that all the grades can participate this time around. I’ll also be starting the spelling bee in Instituto San Jose, and hopefully with be able to do one in my private institute as well. Time will tell.

I also spoke with Georgia today regarding my extraordinarily bad weekend, and got OK’ed to take a mental health day on Friday. That being said, she wanted me to speak with the PC head of security about the situation on Saturday. It concerned him enough that he is going to arrange a meeting with the police and all my counterparts to ensure that it doesn’t happen again.

Following this conversation with the head of security, I ran into the police officer I made the report to and he informed me that the culprit had called the chief of police that night to tell him that he had done nothing and that I was the one who initiated everything. However, upon coming to the police station, the police chief was informed of my report and reneged his support for the guy who harassed me. “He was just trying to wash his hands of any blame,” the police told me. On a related note, the news about the incident spread around town, and the new mayor and vice mayor as well as all the heads of the Sandinistas in Achuapa sat down with the guy who harassed me and told him off and that they better not catch him doing anything remotely similar to that again. Oh yea.

Richard – 1, Jackass – 0

November 18th

I woke up at 9 today – NINE. Holy crap. I must still be on city time because that is super strange. I feel like I missed the entire day by waking up so late. Then wouldn’t you know it – 2 activities later, it was noon. All I did was print up a letter for the mayor, give the letter to the mayor, then went back home. Boom – 3 hours. I also saw the one volunteer from New Jersey for the second time since she got here. She’d sent me tons of messages, but with Claro – La vida en tus manos, I apparently had everything in my hands except the numerous messages that she sent me. So I didn’t receive her messages, and now she leaves Saturday. However, in light of my lovely weekend, I’m taking a mental health day this week and will be leaving Thursday. She headed to Estelí today for 3 days…so much for taking advantage of having another volunteer in Achuapa; it all just went down the drain.

The afternoon flew by too; when the other volunteer left at 1, I did some English tutoring, hung out at the cooperativa and chatted with Kenis for a couple of hours, then went to the gym. After that, there’s not much of the day left (having no streetlights will do that), so I headed over to my counterpart’s house for the daily dinner/chess game. A whole day, nothing notable. 


Projects, Being Economical, Bacterial Infection, Cheating Students

2008 31 October

October 25th

 

With it being Saturday once again, this meant but one thing – internet day. Being said, the only way I can use the internet is to go down to El Sauce (at least until Wednesday!), so I caught the 8 AM bus out of town. It hasn’t rained for two days (miracle?), so I expected the roads would be better and we’d get there in no time. Well, I was right and wrong – the roads were crap (our bus couldn’t pass a field of mud about a kilometre outside of Achuapa, so we had to walk across the mud and get on another bus), but we still got to El Sauce in around an hour  - right on time.

 

I casually got caught up on the happenings in the rest of the world and answered all my emails, etc., when the power went out, thereby ending my internet session. I paid for the time I was there and then noticed something elusive on the owner of the cyber’s desk – a newspaper! “Where did you get that?” “Uh…don’t you live here? They’re everywhere.” He told me where I could get a newspaper, as well as a big gigantic bottle of water (5 gallons) and I headed out of the cyber. Immediately upon exiting, I saw that a bus going to Achuapa was at the stop…4 blocks away. I had no idea if it was just about to leave, but I certainly wasn’t about to wait to see, so I took off running after it. In the 4 block full sprint, I passed 4 mototaxis and a truck and on every block I had a handful of people screaming, “¡Dale chele!” I actually caught the bus, which unfortunately meant I forwent my opportunity to get a newspaper and water, but hey whatever.

 

I rolled into Achuapa at 11:30, a mere 3.5 hours after I left. This was by far the quickest I’ve ever gone to El Sauce and returned, and I’m pretty sure it’s the fastest I could’ve done the trip since there are only a handful of busses that go to Achuapa everyday. Proud of my achievement, I went home and made my standard rice and beans and mixed it up with an orange. Then began my ‘cielo razo’ installation.

 

As I mentioned at the beginning of the week, I got the mini-super to give me a mountain of egg cartons because I wanted to create a soundproof (or at least that’s what I’m aiming for) barrier so my house doesn’t sound like an engine room every time it rains. I put a bunch of egg cartons together, but then it dawned on me that I had no idea how to go about attaching the egg cartons to my roof. Not only that, but I had no idea how I’d be able to elevate myself so I could touch the ceiling. I sat in the dark thinking for about 30 minutes (the power went out in Achuapa when it went out in El Sauce), when I finally got an idea – I could use string to support the weight of the egg cartons. As for a ladder, I had no idea, I had a table I could use on some parts, but since my roof is slanted, that wouldn’t work in the higher parts of my room.

 

I went to my neighbour’s house to see if just maybe, he might have a ladder. “¡Sí, como no!” He then pulled out a wooden ladder than bore a striking resemblance to all the ladders you see in those old cartoons – wooden, bent, nails hanging out, etc. While the ladder would work against the walls, I told him it wouldn’t work in the middle of the room. He then advised me that it would ‘definitely’ work – I just needed to get some big sturdy branches to tie to the sides of the ladder. Fear embedded deep into the back of my head by this point, I brought the ladder back to my house to try it out. Surprisingly, it worked pretty well, and I was able to utilise it minus the whole ladder splitting in two and I expected. Nevertheless, this project is going to take a TON of time, so I was unable to put a huge dent in it – until another day.

 

I went over to Rene’s bike shop afterwards to just stick with my normal routine. Everybody always asks if I’m lonely living all by myself, and today was no different. This time however, he asked who was cooking for me, “Well…I am, and I’m terrible at it…step by step I’m learning.” He then told me his mom would gladly make me some dinner that night, so he’d give me a call.

 

I’d been rocking out in my house working on the various projects I’ve have going when I saw that I’d missed Rene’s phone calls. Being ‘economic’, I just walked to his house (around 50 feet from my house), and found his mother-in-law sitting in front. I sat down and chatted with her for a bit before Rene showed up on a bike with a heaping plate of food. He, his wife, and daughter headed over to his mother’s house and left me there watching Grease with his mother-in-law. I downed the food, asked her to thank Rene for me, and headed home…only to make it to the corner.

 

On the corner, my buddy Christian was sitting in front of the Claro building with some 13 year old, so I figured I’d join them. The Claro building is a place where many go to at night (I’m guessing because a huge light illuminates the whole intersection), and tonight was no different. There I spent the next 2.5 hours chatting with tons of people that would stop by, talk, and take off. Most of the time, I chatted it up with the Claro security guard and a number of my friends who were there. I also got caught up on all the sports action that goes on in the town. Not only that, but now I’ve got a ton of people interested in a bike race, weight lifting competition, marathon, biathlon, etc.

 

October 26th

 

Today was not a remarkable day.

 

I’ll spare you the details save a summary:

 

I woke up and did my normal deal then spent the majority of the day working on my ceiling again. I ran out of egg cartons, but also lacked a ladder to ‘install’ the egg carton rows to the ceiling. Therefore, after I’d put them all together, and in the process, found tons of red little bugs crawling in the egg cartons (that side is going to face the ceiling when they’re installed), I resorted to just staring at the ceiling. I really had no means to do anything more, so it was just a matter of trying to figure out a way to touch the ceiling without something to bring me to that height. After realising the Fantastic Four were a mere anamoly only made possible through via computer animation, I threw in the towel and decided to enjoy some of the sunshine made possible by the complete absence of clouds.

 

My short jaunt outside to enjoy the weather turned into a 4-hour chat session with my buddy Ervin outside his house instead. Over the next 4 hours – we discussed why I insist on being so cheap on my trip with my friends from Europe next week (because I don’t make a percentage of what you do, that’s why you spent 1,500 on your week trip to Ometepe and I’ll probably spend 20 in 3 days), talked with everybody who passed us on the street, and I lent my bike to his son and told him I was charging him dinner for the bike rental (and this tactic actually worked).

 

Sundays are generally pretty laid back days, but man, in a small town like Achuapa, they’re REALLY laid back.

 

October 27th

 

“Why do the kids need to learn how to spell? When are they going to have to know how to spell?”

I’m dumbfounded. “Have you not seen any of the signs in town with spelling mistakes????” (which is a huge number).

“But the kids have never learned how to spell before in curriculum.”

“Why do you think we’re doing a spelling competition? Because they’ve never had to do anything with it in the past.”

“Oh! Now I understand!”

 

Aside from giving a class to my 4th year kids at San Sebastián (they were typically terrible), my main activity for the day was planning for the final rounds of the spelling competition in the primary school. As is painfully obvious above, while planning for the subsequent rounds with the 6th grade teacher and the directora of the school, we got into a conversation over why the kids even needed to learn how to spell. “So your country doesn’t live in poverty for the next 500 years,” is what I wanted to say. However, I put it in a more tactful manner in saying that you only had to walk 50 feet from the school to see businesses with spelling mistakes in their signs. Education is the key to development. Ignorance I’ve found is a huge, huge obstacle to development, however it is not one that cannot be overcome. It’s just that there are many things within a culture that inhibit development, and you have to have to use pretty stark examples to prove how something you want to do might be better than the way things are currently being done.

 

Good learning experience today. When I was first questioned about the practicality of a spelling bee, the first thing I thought was, “Oh no, I didn’t do a community analysis! This isn’t something they want to do! This isn’t sustainable!” However, after getting past my initial flippant thoughts, I was able to chalk up the importance of this activity, and thereby (potentially?) rendering it a sustainable activity. I’ll be around next year to do the activity again, so maybe we can get this bigger and more inclusive. Maybe, just maybe, this could turn into an activity the community continues when my service is over?

 

I also read a lot today. I just finished a book called “Prague.” The entire book, I was waiting for the characters to be jaunting through the cobblestone streets that I journeyed down on a daily basis 2 years ago. Even though the cover had a lovely painted cover of Karlovy Most, there are just several references to Prague (in comparison to Budapest, the setting the entire book), and at the end of the book, a character finally shows up in Prague – then the book is over. I read the entire book with the premise that you know, it’d be about PRAGUE. But no, nothing. I feel mislead.

 

October 28th

 

Today I had a plan – that plan was not to sit around my house reading like I did the previous day. I intended to go out and talk with people. No matter what my intentions are, they always tend to not go according to plan though. This being said, I started the day out by going over to Rene’s bike shop to hang out and talk with people. However, today for whatever reason, I never really was able to get involved in the conversation.

 

I abandoned my plan to be social and instead bought food and returned to my house to read. For whatever reason, whenever I do some reading, I do it in huge chunks – big in the sense that I finished 2 books in the last two days. Socialising was obviously not in the cards, so I just decided to let things come at me as oppose to go out seeking a specific outcome/result.

 

I was to tutor Johanni at 1, so after making a standard Goggins meal (beans, bread, orange), I headed to the Institute to meet her. I always get frustrated helping her with her homework because her professor at the university is so inept when it comes to teaching it drives me crazy. She’s one of the worst excuses for a professor that I’ve ever witnessed in my life. Her teaching consists of handing out packets of specialised content that doesn’t help the students at all. Then to make things worse, she says, “Make a lesson plan out of this.” She doesn’t provide directions, guidance, or anything. I wish nothing but bad things upon her. Nevertheless, today’s tutoring session was one of the more enjoyable ones. After being pissed off about her incompetent professor, I just taught her a bunch of vocabulary and we worked on her pronunciation. Then it turned into a class helping me with my pronunciation. For one reason or another, the class then turned into me teaching her Czech and how to pronounce Czech words. On a positive note though – she’s really good at Czech pronunciation. Since I mentioned that, I want to take up studying German and Czech (again) with my free time (anybody who wants to send books to help me study would be awesome). Maybe Johanni could study Czech with me. With all the people who speak German here (2) and Czech (2), why not take advantage of the opportunity to become tri/quad lingual?

 

My tutoring session was an unbelievable 2.5 hours, so I headed to the gym afterwards. It wasn’t until I got out of the gym that I finally had the good conversation I was seeking at the beginning of the day. Freddy (the guy who made my bed), and I ended up sitting on the corner and talking for the next hour and a half about life in general, places I want to go in Nicaragua, etc. Freddy is a real tranquil guy and whenever I get in a conversation with him, it always tends to be a long drawn out one. Perfect.

 

Lesson for the day – let the experiences come to me.

 

October 29th

 

Upon waking up this morning, I realised something – I definitely had something living in my body. I thought this the previous day and was going to see what happened, but nothing ended up happening. However, come nighttime, my stomach made it clear that it wasn’t quite happy. On top of that, whenever I ate anything, I felt extremely full. I’m just talking about eating a mountain of food, but a small glass of oatmeal and water and I was full – it sure felt like I ate a mountain of food. I decided to finally give in and call the PC medical officer (PCMO from now on) to see what she recommended. “Do you have a private lab in Achuapa?” “Who are you kidding? No way. We only have a MINSA health center.” She told me to go over to the health center, give a stool sample, then give her a call when I got the results.

 

The lab specialist at the health center told me to come back after 10 (about an hour later) to get my results, so I headed home and did some reading (this is reading week apparently) while the battle between my stomach and continued. Since I am in Nicaragua, I waited 20 minutes longer before heading back to get my results. When I got to the health center, the lab specialist gave me a very unassuming and vague piece of paper.

 

1er Nombre: Ricardo                   2do. Nombre: Goggins

Examen Microscópico: No se observa parásito

Digestivo: Bacteriaabundante

 

So the result was that I had no parasite (like I thought), but I had a (as another doctor told me) a “monton,” or “mountain” of bacteria in my system – a bacterial infection. A quick call to the PCMO later, and she told me to go get some Cipro tablets (antibiotics). For 6 tablets, I paid the whopping sum of 27 cordobas (about $1.35) – not too bad.

 

I went home, popped a Cipro and went back to reading. A little more than 20 minutes later, I could feel the tides being turned – I was beating the bacteria! I say this in a positive way, but the negative was that it hurt like none other…but I was winning! Esteban (my counterpart at San Sebastián) showed up a little later to tell me class was cancelled (again), so he just wanted to let me know.

 

The rest of the day, I battle in my stomach continued. So in addition to reading, I went to the gym (wow – stupid, stupid idea), and I hung out at Esteban’s house for most of the night (got free food out of it!). While I did score a free dinner out of going to his house, my stomach would have none of it – half a tortilla later, I was full.

 

At least I’m getting rid of the friends in my stomach before Claudia and Giulia come Sunday (aka I won’t be sick during my entire week of vacation).

 

October 30th

 

Come morning, I was feeling pretty good. “Must be winning.” I thought to myself. Me – 1, Bacteria – 0, Parasite – 0 (this is a running tally).

 

I supervised an exam in my 4th year class at I. San José today, which was bittersweet. The kids realised they couldn’t cheat with me, or rather…as easily, because they still tried – really hard. One girl I caught had her notes in her hand – it was the last page of the notes. When I took it and said, “What the hell is this?” She told me they were her Spanish notes, except for that last page…with all the answers to the exam on it. I wanted to give her a zero, my counterpart wanted to give her an 80. Eventually I talked her down to giving her a 50%. Me – 1, Students – 0. Another kid was trying the entire class to cheat, and I was onto his game so I kept my eyes on him the entire class. When he was the last student left in the class, he got desperate and asked me to give him one answer. At first I told him no, then I decided to have fun with it. I then went on a huge long tirade in English, saying a string of random things just to see how he’d react. He didn’t know how to react at first, and neither did any of the other students in the class. After I rattled on about all sorts of things, like swimming pools, he finally just asked me to give him one of the answers in English. So I told him what to write down, “Carrots. C-A-R-R-O-T-S.” And he went right ahead and wrote carrots on his paper. After he turned it in, I let him know what it meant, and he was laughed at by the class, and by me.

 

I felt like crap after this and spent the rest of the day reading and I also tutored Johanni for a couple of hours.

 

Tomorrow I’m going on vacation!


The worst (and best) bus ride in history, the LEC competition, and new projects

2008 25 October

October 19th

Having done nothing the previous night, we started the next morning pretty early again (of course this was probably due to the fact that Lindsay, Jordan, and I all squeezed into her bed). Once again, it was absolutely gorgeous outside, and it made us wonder why on Earth we got put on “standfast” in the first place. We all headed to the cyber since Sundays are lay-low days anyway, and after remembering that most are closed on Sunday, we headed over to gringo street (where all the hostels are) and found a cyber that was open. There we ran into Pete, an agriculture volunteer, and Joey, an SBD volunteer from out group. Joey had just gotten out of the hospital (again), and decided to head up to Leon before heading back to his site.

I took off after an hour and met up with Jordan at her house where we just lounged around. Since I’m pretty accustomed to living a tranquilo lifestyle, that’s what we did for the next billion hours it seemed. Lindsay showed up after doing some work at the cyber and went back to Cinco Pinos, and Jordan and I continued to sit around.

You can imagine how exciting that is.

Also, my counterpart called me about 12 times telling me the kids didn’t have money to come to the competition. After I said that this was nothing new, the delegada called me up and said that they needed to go. I still had no answer for her, just saying that my counterpart didn’t help me look for money so we didn’t raise anymore. So I assumed they weren’t coming.

Due to my lack of activity, the only other thing I did was hang out with the TEFL volunteers for a while before watching the Red Sox lose game 7. Ugh.

October 20th

Now with only 2 people in the bed, I slept a whole lot sounder than in the past couple of days. Jordan and I had to get up early for the LEC regional competition, so after a quick breakfast and getting decked out in our finest, we headed over to the building the mayor’s office is in (one of the only buildings in the city with more than one floor). We were having the competition in a ballroom above the mayor’s office, so we had a lot of setup to do.

Jordan ordered around 150 chairs and 20 tables, so we planned on setting that up immediately upon arriving. However, time passed…and some more time passed…and they weren’t there. We got the mayor’s office to donate some chairs and tables but they were far from sufficient. On top of these problems, I got a call from my counterpart at 8 AM, “We’re here” “What??? You’re here? I thought you weren’t coming.” Since my group decided to show up, I had to run back to Jordan’s house to pick up their powerpoint presentation so they’d be able to present during the competition.

I ran across the city and grabbed my flash drive and got back to the mayor’s office before they even showed up – guess I’m just that fast. Unfortunately my professionalism took a hit because the weather was gorgeous and amazingly hot (AKA, I arrived drenched in sweat).

Unfortunately for everyone involved, the tables and chairs didn’t show up for 2.5 hours. Due to this, many people were whining and complaining, but eventually we got around to starting at 10:30. Since my group never told me they were coming, they weren’t on the presentation list, so they’d be going last. Bummer.

All in all, the entire competition went very smoothly. I had the incredibly important role of being the time guy – I got to stop people when they went over the 5-minute time limit for the presentation. The groups that presented really annihilated all the groups that participated in the Chinandega competition. I don’t know if it’s a lack of motivation on the part of the students in that department, the heat, or what, but it was interesting to note that. The way things went, Jordan had 2 groups that got awards, groups from La Paz Centro got the top award (they started an advertising company – and just became an official business in the town), and Brie’s group from Malpaisillo that was selling bees wax candles (also already selling their product), got second place. These were the only two places since only they will continue onto the national competition.

With the end of the competition, I intended to head off to Achuapa and relax the whole way. Whoa did it end up differently than what I thought.

First, my counterpart told me that she needed to go to the doctor, and therefore would not be going back to Achuapa with the students and me. Great, so I have to take care of them. I walked around a bit with the students, bought some things in the market, and then we all caught the camioneta to head over to the bus terminal.

We got to the bus station an hour and a half early, which was good and bad. It was great because the last bus generally has no empty seats on it, but bad because we had to wait for so long for the bus to depart. I killed the time by casually chatting with my students, all of whom had woken up at 1 AM in order to catch the bus that came from León (To make matters worse for my students, the bus that they caught that morning got in an accident and was delayed an hour.) It seemed that my stars had aligned correctly when the bus left an amazing ten minutes early. This meant one thing – I’d be able to get home that much earlier right? Wrong.

Our problems started at the first empalme (an intersection for highways). No more than 20 feet after turning onto the highway that goes towards Malpaisillo, the bus got a flat tire. This was much to the dismay of my students and me in particular. They’d woken up super early in the morning, and I’d been away from Achuapa for so long I really wanted to go back. The whole tire changing process took about 45 minutes before we were finally on our way again. After this, things seemed to be improving – we got to the next empalme in what seemed to be record time. Since we were clipping along so nicely, I kicked back and enjoyed some tunes – we had a mere 2 hours to go after all.

I spoke to soon.

After very little time, we ran into a huge line of cars that were stopped on the highway. Just to give some background information – this highway never has any cars on it. If we see more than 3 cars the whole 2-hour trip on this stretch of highway, it’s a busy day. The driver then broke the news to everybody – the river had flooded the bridge and we had to wait until it got lower so we could cross the bridge. I got out of the bus to go check out the river with my students and we ran into Irene, the volunteer from El Sauce. She had left the competition and hour before we did, and they’d been waiting at the flooded river for about an hour and a half. The bridge normally crosses over a super tiny creek, but now this tiny creek was more of a raging river that was a good 100 feet across. This meant we were to sit and wait for around an hour and a half – luckily, it could’ve been longer. Everybody in the line of cars was completely ecstatic to be able to pass over the bridge after having waited for so long. Each vehicle that crossed the bridge did so to the deafening sound of falling rain, a rushing river, and the cheers of the passengers.

We pushed on and about an hour later we arrived in El Sauce. This arrival was debatable as the bus never actually stopped at the stop, nor took the normal route through the town. I didn’t know we actually we’d actually stopped until we were on our way out of town and past the cemetery that marks the end of town. My students told met that the cobradors said we’d have to sleep in the bus, which I already was aware of. I’d called PC security to ask him about what to do, and he recommended I stay in El Sauce – but since I didn’t know we’d stopped, that was no longer an option.

Time for an experience.

As everybody kept saying, we arrived in Rio Grande (a town in the middle of Achuapa and El Sauce (about 7 miles from Achuapa), the driver stopped the bus and said we weren’t going anywhere until the morning – #@%$! We all got out of the bus to swear, relieve ourselves, and wander aimlessly when a truck appeared out of nowhere. We asked him where he was going and he told us he was headed just outside of Achuapa. “Could you take us as far as you’re going?” Surprisingly, the man said he’d take us – so me, my 4 students, and the other 21 people that were on the bus climbed in the back of this tiny pickup truck (TINY TINY). I was one of the last people in the bus because I had to run back on the bus and grab all my stuff and barely was able to jump in the back before it took off. Unfortunately, due to the number of people and bags we had in the back of the truck, I was left to stand up at the back of the truck, with my legs bent just a bit so I could hold on to a suitcase and the shoulder of one of my students to avoid falling out of the truck as it travelled 30 miles per hour. To make matters more…interesting, this entire time, I’ve been carrying 4 jars of peanut butter. So if you can picture all of the above, and then add 4 jars of peanut butter in a bag I’m holding, that’s what my situation was.

The truck dropped us off at the point that we could see the telephone tower that is in Achuapa, but unfortunately it was still super far away. We now had to walk 20 minutes through the mud, in the pitch-black night. I’d been crouched over with my legs bent for 20 minutes (because my life literally depended on it), so my body barely had the capacity to continue. Not only that, but during this walk, the bag holding my peanut butter bust open and my peanut butter went rolling all over the muddy hill I was now trudging up. I collected my strewn about peanut butter jars and continued the muddy, blind hike down the middle of the Achuapa-El Sauce road. Finally, we saw a truck approaching us and a man got out to illuminate the horribly muddy road that stood between all of us and the truck. I was the first person in the truck followed by my 4 students, and while we waited I proceeded to drop my peanut butter all over the roof of the truck – nearly losing them all.

The truck drove us the last 15 minutes to Achuapa and finally dropped us off at the park. Once again, another problem arose – my students live in the community 5 km away and it was now 9:30 (mind you we left at 3:45 PM, so this normally 2 hour 45 minute ride turned into close to a 6 hour ride). The roads definitely would be horrible, and it’s a dangerous road to travel down at night, so my 2 girl students stayed at my counterpart’s house since she wasn’t home, and my 2 male students came to my house. We were all starving and thirsty, but I could only offer water since I had no food in my house. I could only give my students some sheets, and they ended up sleeping on the floor of my room for the whole night (and they looked like corpses – see picture).

Oh wow – WHAT AN EXPERIENCE!

October 21st

My students and I rolled out of bed (well I did, they got up off the floor) at around 5:30 AM, because my students had to go to school (they actually wanted to even though I told them they didn’t have to). I was exhausted but got up with them because my gate was locked. So like last night, I had to scream for my neighbour to unlock the gate so we could get out. Once they took off, I was left to my own devices. I tried to go back to sleep, but it just wasn’t happening.

I got up and after making a quick breakfast, I went out to buy all the things I couldn’t get earlier due to a lack of funds. What I didn’t realise at the beginning was that a list would’ve been an amazing idea. However, due to whatever reason, I didn’t make one. With all my common sense out the metaphorical window, I made 5 trips to the giant pulperia, 4 trips to the mini-super, and 2 trips to the pulperia in front of the cooperativa. I bought some sheets for my bed (finally), a pillow (it’s total crap), got 100 egg carton palates (going to soundproof my house), a can of tuna fish (I’m going to make a Nica oven out of it after I eat it) and a bunch of negligible foodstuffs.

When I got home and lounged around in my house, my neighbour came over and told me the ‘chela’ stopped by my house on Sunday. This meant but one thing – the new white person in town wasn’t just passing through. I had an English class to teach at 11:30, so I headed down there right afterward to teach the Albergue class with Johanni. For reasons that I wasn’t to clear on, the class was cancelled. I think it had to do with exams or that kids were ditching classes or something, but whatever.

Now done with the only other commitment I had for the day (the spelling bee was postponed because the directora wasn’t there today), I decided to head over to the new volunteer’s house to meet her. I’d never actually been over to her part of town, even though it’s a mere 2 blocks from my house. The road was pure mud and rocks (that’s probably why I’d never been there), and was exceptionally muddy in light of the rainy season. I had to ask a 5 year old where the lady’s house was (Doña Flor, or Mrs. Flower if you were to translate it). I’m always reluctant to follow a Nicaraguan’s directions, so while I was wandering around looking for somebody else to ask, a girl came out of a house and came over to me to tell me the chela wasn’t going to be home for half an hour. Wow – information that comes to you!

I headed back a little bit later, but got lost on the way there (one road too far). While making my way back, I surprisingly saw another white girl. I had no idea if that was the girl I was going to meet or now, so I halfway asked with the question, “¿Usted es…?” She took off her baseball cap to reveal short bright red hair and just nodded her head. I had no idea what that meant, but it was really awkward so I just kept riding down the road where I proceeded to get lost. I hit a dead end, or rather a forest, so I had to double back and go back to pass the awkward white girl who was now sitting on the corner reading something. I finally got back to Mrs. Flower’s house and met the new volunteer in town, Robin. I had some basic questions I needed answered before casual conversation was to proceed, “Where did you come from? What are you doing? How long are you staying?” It was more like an interrogation as first, but eventually we transitioned into normal conversation. She’s working in the clinic of the cooperativa learning acupuncture and holistic medicine, and is from New Jersey. Unfortunately for me, she’s only staying 4 weeks, but hey it’s better than nothing right? We ended up talking for a while because it started raining, and we found out we really had a whole lot in common (including crazy travelling alone). Additionally, it was like a job fair since I gave a run down of what Peace Corps was, what my job was, what I hated, what I liked, if it was hard, etc.

After showing her all the good pulperia’s in town (and where to get a box of Corn Flakes), I stopped by the pulperia across the street from Rene’s bike shop to chat with some of my friends. It then dawned on me that I had yet to plan for my Wednesday 3rd year class at San Sebastián, so I headed over to Esteban’s house to take care of that. I wouldn’t be going because my contact from the Millennium Challenge Corporation was coming to Achuapa tomorrow, so I wanted to get my counterpart ready for the class. I showed up and he was doing laps around the block on his bike because he was bored (according to his wife), but a quick text message later of “I’m in you’re house. Come. We need to plan,” he was there a mere 30 seconds later. I told him I wouldn’t be there and he just told me not to worry about it, school was almost out after all. Then, I hung out and chatted with him and his wife for hours. The conversation bounced back and forth from the education system, to the cyber that’s opening in Achuapa (in a week!!!!!), the Yankees sucking (my counterpart is a huge Yankees fan), the importance of learning another language, and my future plans. On top of that, it revolved around my complete ineptitude with regards to cooking. This ended up being the key phrase as my counterpart’s wife told me I should just stay for dinner, “Done.

I left my counterpart’s house around 8:30 pretty satisfied, and was completely beat. It was a busy day for not doing anything that was truly productive (according to my Peace Corps work report).

October 22nd

I slept like a rock last night, but unfortunately I still woke up at 6 AM. I tried to go back to sleep, but the only thing I could think about was making sure I was awake to fill the barrel in my bathroom and fill my gallon jugs so I could sun them on my roof. So I made a compromise, I’ll go turn on the faucets and then go back to bed and rest until I hear the water when it’s turned on. Of course, the second I went and laid back in bed, the water came on – so I started my day.

I went to take a shower only to remember that I sent all my clothes and towels to be washed…so…my towel ended up being my shirt. The day obviously didn’t start that well, but it’s not like I could just hit the reset button. I did some more errands while I waited for my contact from El Sauce to show up – this came in the form of going to the pulperia again, going to the primary school to talk about the spelling bee (it’s going to be Friday), talking with the delegada about the regional competition, and hanging out with Kenis a bit in the cooperativa. I talked with Kenis for a long time before I realised that I was late for my meeting with my NGO contact. I abruptly left and headed over to the Casa de la Mujer to find Leslie, the grandson of my host mom there. “¿Está Gloria o Ninoska?””No, andan en El Sauce.” Or in English, they were in El Sauce – another day wasted. No matter, I’m great at killing time now. I went and hung out a bit more in the cooperativa with Kenis before heading over to the bike shop and chatting with Rene for a bit. There, a guy who owns a bike with a ridiculous amount of accessories told me that if he were in my position, he “sure as hell wouldn’t be here in Nicaragua.” Then I economically broke it down to him and explained to him that I’ve been able to travel more than any of my friends, and do everything I’ve wanted to do with my life so far without incurring any debt, even though I’ve never really made that much in my life. Thank you economics degree.

With all my new cooking gadgets in my house, I tried to make some lunch. I had bit plans – beans, rice, fruit, vegetables, and peanut butter. However, after doing a couple rounds of the town, I found nothing but beans. So I ate some beans, rice, and some guineo (banana like but a bland tortilla like taste) that my neighbour gave me. Mmmm….starch, starch, and starch. To make the meal even more healthy, I had some white bread – thank god for that multivitamin.

I was going to head over to the institute at 1 to meet Johanni for another English class only for her to call me to say she’d be 10 minutes late – 10 minutes, how un-Nicaraguan of her. Her English class wasn’t the best for me – maybe it was my crappy diet I’ve had lately. She’s improving incredibly, but some days I just don’t have the patience. It’s days like this when I miss a good Colorado microbrew (ahem – gift idea).

I did some exercises in the park where I had a 3 or 4 year old talking to me the whole time:

“Cheleeeeeeeeeeeeee! What are you doing?”

“I’m doing exercises.”

“Those aren’t exercises!”

“Sure they are, I’m doing pull-ups. It’s one of the best exercises you can do!”

“You don’t do them very high – only to the bar. My dad can do pull-ups as high as the sky.”

On top of buying more stuff. I was keen to make my dinner tonight, so I walked all around town carrying random things as I did them in no particular order – I bought some pots, bought some bread, bought some cheese, bought some pineapple, and checked some other pulperia’s for food. While I did all this, I passed my house 4 times. Upon arriving to my house, my neighbours came and sat in my kitchen to watch the “experiment” I was about to conduct. They seemed completely flabbergasted that I intended to eat pineapple at night, and on top of that, that I was going to eat it with rice, beans, and cuajada. The dinner filled my belly, and really that’s all I ask from my cooking. So…mission accomplished.

Here’s hoping for a productive tomorrow? Maybe?

October 23rd

The productive part about today – I had a class to teach. Aside from that…my productiveness is debatable. Today was just a day where if I had somebody observing what I did (one of you readers for example), you’d probably be dying, “Oh my god how can you do this? This is sooooo boring.” Or in other words, I did a lot of sitting around. However, as I’ve noted before: for me, a successful day is one where I finish it and I’m satisfied with what happened and don’t feel it was wasted.

So I woke up before my alarm, got ready and headed over to I. San José to teach my class for the first time in 2 weeks (I missed last week because of the Chinandega regional competition). The class went pretty well, and by that I mean that I had nobody trying to take pictures of me the entire class. They were pretty well behaved (well, for them), but this was definitely due to the fact that they have an exam next Thursday. Speaking of which, this next exam brought out another student I’d never seen before. I’ve been teaching at this school since July, and it was the first time he’d shown up to class. He’s…going places…yep, he sure is.

After the class, my official professional, working Richard day was over. So I set out to do some errands – unfortunately as of lately this has meant stopping by the huge pulperia to buy something I hadn’t realised I’d needed. Today, this came in the form of a smaller knife, and a container to store a half-pound of cook beans. Instead of slaving over a pot (well, not really slaving), but instead of buying a pot to cook an absurd amount of beans, I outsourced the work to a friend of mine who did it for free. This was another sound economic move by me, and a worthy headline in the Achuapa newspaper (if we had one). I’d been buying a bag of cooked beans for 5 cords (that bag lasts me 3-4 meals), so by getting them for free now, I’ve saved myself around 79 dollars over the rest of my Peace Corps service.

Pleased with my savvy-ness, I set out to do the next significant thing on the agenda – buy some vegetables so I didn’t have to eat just beans and rice for lunch. It’s been raining like crazy, so the Estelí bus hasn’t been bringing fruits and vegetables that much, so selection was definitely lacking. I ended up getting a tomato, a chiltoma, and something that looked like an orange. After inquiring, the fruit stand lady just told me:

“Oh it’s super sweet! Super sweet!”

“Um…ok, give me one of those.”

“You just want one?”

“Yea, that should be enough.”

“But they’re so sweet!”

I resisted the pressuring fruit stand lady and just got one, came home and put them in the fridge. Coincidentally, when lunch rolled around, all I did was eat rice and beans and the half of a pineapple from the previous night. It then started to rain.

Some 3 hours of yoga later, after the rain had passed, I headed over to Esteban’s house (my counterpart) because I was pretty much told by his wife that I had to come. I spent the majority of the night over there chatting with them about this and that. Oh, and the exciting part was them showing me this amazing pillow – the softest pillow I’ve ever experienced in my life. Since his wife is going to León tomorrow, she said she’d grab me two of them – I just couldn’t resist! Also, more amazing news – the cyber in Achuapa opens on Wednesday – WEDNESDAY. I’ll finally be connected with the rest of the world again, except this time it will be on my terms.

Week from today, I’m going on vacation.

October 24th

Today I was finally able to do my spelling bee – and it was a huge success. I thought of this idea a while back after seeing how poor everybody’s spelling skills were, and the competition was finally realised.

I showed up at the school at 8 AM to give the test, which was met with the groans of most of the students of 6th year. With all the moaning and whining they were doing, I was convinced that everybody would fail the exam, but that’s far from what happened. After the exam, it was a field day, so the kids no longer had class. During this time, I graded all the exams to find that of the 29 people who took the exam, 10 people got a 75% or higher – remarkable for a Nicaraguan classroom. There was one girl who got 3 out of 40 wrong and even remembered some spelling rules that she was able to transcribe. It was super satisfying to see that so many people cared enough to study a bit. The best part of it was a girl in the class, Adriana, telling me how poorly she did and how she didn’t even want to know what she got – only to find out she got the second highest score in the class. Not only did she surprise everybody in the class, but she amazed herself as well. She was just so happy about it. I’m going to plan with the directora and the professor of the class next week for the last oral round, so they can implement the second phase of the competition while I’m on vacation the first week of November.

Following the spelling bee, I bought some honey (good natural sugar), finally got my housing contract together with (I’d never been able to get a hold of the lawyer in town), and talked with Kenis a bit before meeting Johanni to help her plan an English class at 1 PM.

Later that afternoon, since the gym is still closed (my buddy Edys might have dengue, and he always has the key), I went and worked out in the park in front of San Sebastián. Unsurprisingly, a bunch of kids showed up to inquire as to what it was I was doing. I took advantage of this by explaining exercises, the importance of being active, and then turning it into a competition (everybody in this country is a sucker for a good competition). I even branched out a bit from my normal preschool group and got a high school kid to participate as well. This has got to be somewhat sustainable yea?

Amazingly, it didn’t rain today (thank GOD), so I took advantage of the beautiful weather by taking a bike ride around town and dropping by to say hello to everybody I know. After my ‘house calls,’ I headed over to Esteban’s house to plan for our 3rd year class for next Wednesday. However, when I arrived he was nowhere to be seen – he was at the stadium apparently. I waited in front of the house with the girl who takes care of his kid (she’s 23 but looks like she’s 12 or 13 tops), met my counterpart’s parents, and then was brought by his wife across the street to her parents house (apparently they’d wanted to meet me). While I was there, I met her dad (who was in the middle of getting a hand massage), who owns a cow farm in Achuapa. He then told me about the heritage of his family dating back to the late 1800’s. Apparently his grandfather was from France and went to the Dominican Republic where he worked for a few years. While he was working there, he heard about some sort of huge project going on in Panama – the Panama Canal. There he worked on the canal from start to finish before hearing about some sort of mining project going on in Nicaragua. This project, mining gold, brought him to Achuapa in the 1910’s, where he and his family have lived since. It was pretty cool hearing about his family story, before he digressed into a 30-minute story about bull riding. With all the talk about the farming life, he told me I could borrow a horse whenever I wanted – that’s cool.

I guess I’ve really got the community behind me.

My students sleeping on my floor after our nightmare bus ride

This is what leather shoes look like after not wearing them for 5 days during rainy season. Yes, that´s mold.


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